Tag: Uncategorized

Inner sanctum

I feel myself being propelled towards you without a clue why
But an absolute knowing that there is meaning in meeting
A friend I think that just brightens the moments
Because you sparkle with life,  enthusiasm for all
And you draw people in
They like me can become hypnotised in your company
You have that gift you give with no awareness
That there’s no-one else in the world but the person now
And you leave them feeling that way
Brighter, more hopeful and knowing that you mean your words
They are not merely vowels and consonants tacked together
That fall apart in the tiniest shower of rain
Hold fast and promises are made to keep
So I know as you spread sparkle from your eyes
Invisible glitter that brightens a day here or there
That you have just given more than you are aware of
When someone sidles by and asks am I jealous
Their startled face is blank when I say
I get far more sparkle than you see here
But the biggest thing is this
(They move closer for the secret)
I have seen his darkness too and that sharing is more
Anyone can share a smile and hide the deepest gloom
But the person who shares that unbidden
Who trusts their pain,  in it’s entirety to my hands
Will never cause jealousy by giving the public side
They keep the private for me and a trusted few
And I am proud to be within that inner sanctum

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Do you remember?

What was it that first drew your eyes to her
And held them there
Who you thought it was you wanted to be a part of
And be the reason for her smile
Do you remember?
Were you trying to make her so that she pushed
It wasn’t your fault
You’ll say she jumped ship not your fault you shrug
Always going to happen
Did your mind engineer it to be this way in the plan
Too good to believe it would last
And now you’re proved right
Do you remember?
Counter argue that one day it maybe could or would have been easy
But would it
Is anything worth having ever that clean cut
The obstacles are the trial
Do you remember?
She’s walking away with eyes like razor sharp flint
But they don’t cut through anymore and you can’t get why
She’s tired it’s too hurtful now
She’s warned you till the words ran dry
All the times you could have…. Fill in the blanks
Do you remember?

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Treasure trove

Like an old wooden treasure chest she sits there
Filled when the lid is opened with precious gems
Information cascades like a spilled pot of golden nuggets
The rubies,  diamonds, pearls glint to catch the sun
Holding it’s warmth she reels it inside
Intent on filling it with warmth and beauty, fire and love
She pushes down the darkness determined
If she ignores it it will disappear surely
Through the slats the darkness slowly pushes out
Forms foggy shrouds around her
She needs to open the chest more often know her own worth
If the treasure trove were stolen tomorrow
She would sparkle and gleam without it
For the stars live in her eyes
No shooting stars these
But perfect everlasting energy to glint forever
They are her soul her beautiful soul

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Two selves

She is watching but cannot be observed in return
Hovering at the woman’s left shoulder
Like a sentinel trying to warn through soundproof glass
Walk away from this
The woman sometimes catches your scream on the wind
When the frustration of her futile situation angers enough
But she is mostly deaf through choice
Because she heard a question
How much longer will you accept this offer of nothing
Before walking to find something?
Again and again she denies the left hand road
The different ways to turn for fear of…..
What?
You?
Herself?
Him?
Maybe none of these but they mask it all quite nicely
Eventually her head will quiet enough and she will hear
It will be as though she sees the other woman
Her old self,  or maybe the new
And the one to bring her peace from her fears and storms
Was within all along and by her side
Her voice of reason will guide her through

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Our position

You stand there telling the world our position
Maybe it’s what you believe
Though I see you desperate for your day in the sun
With a chance to write your own history books
You in the heroes robes
Do you star in your own little daydreams?
Wearing ermine,  furs and the like
While your hand is itching to slam on the button
Do you see the sorrow you’ll cause in a far off land
Or is it merely a button to strike
I am saddened,  hurt, angry and more
That you have chosen this in my name
There are real lives at risk not tin soldiers who can live again
So awake from the dream you’re no conquering hero
And did they ever exist at all
Wake up become wise and use sense and compassion
Instead of leading the world into war

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Subject unseen

You ask something of me silently,  Dancing around your subject like a veiled woman who wants to go unnoticed
But desires to be seen
Your arms lift as you try to put emphasis on a point
You have not made
I attempted to ease the asking by almost suggesting things
Still you dance frantically unnoticed and seen
I am weary from trying to understand how
You attempt to play your game
Be brave,  brazen,  or just plain rude
But for the sake of my sanity alone speak
I am losing the will to care

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Ethereal Beauty

I watch her as behind her eyes go beyond illuminated, dancing 
With mischief and mirth freed from their hiding place 
For now she is free to be, as simple or complex as that makes her 
She is only allowed this time by sheer chance 
Yet I see her essence escape and glide effortlessly 
Talking, laughing, dancing in her most ethereal form 
I ache to tell her that this self needs to be made free without censure 
Know she wouldn’t believe me and tamp her flames down to nothing  
So I watch
And it is a joyful sight 
But a tiny part of me cries, knowing that this part of her is hostage 
Only because she is told to keep it hidden from sight 
She sees ordinary, I watch a rare beauty a natural beauty 
I told her once she was beautiful and she thought I mocked her 
Then it dawned I meant my words and she said I was kind 
But she really knew 
Her limits didn’t include beauty 
I don’t know if she fully believed when I told her she was truly beautiful 
When she allows her spirit freedom her beacon shines
Maybe that’s what he’s afraid of? 
He’s terrified of something 

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

The Beckoning

I follow the cavernous pathway down below the core
Leading to where I do not know nor if return is possible
The unseen spectres around brush my face familiarly
Still I press on, to what I am unable to say
Follow the woman who has told me to come here urgently
And I am asked for reasons why I am here
But my answer is not forthcoming yet
Stammering as I stagger on afraid and half crazed with fear
I am loathing something as a sly tongue asks
And you what right have you to be here attend my realm
I cannot reply not possessing a ready answer
I stop trying to puzzle and fumble ahead
Following only my gut call of where on the rocks to tread
My head bursts forth with an answer that shocks me
Fuck it, I will be here,  am here and you have no case
Nothing to answer just live with it or don’t
But I am here to stay whatever….

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Twisting on the hook

The woman extracts casually what she needs as he watches in fear 
You must know it was harmless….he begins
To whom? Her eyebrow arches as no reply is heard
Pulling the cloak tighter she says quietly people can be broken 
There is a price to be paid, when we carelessly cause hurt, 
The scales weigh and measure the blackened removed heart 
You expect to hurt, cause pain, destroy and casually stroll away? 
His mouth opens and closes like a goldfish in a bowl, but no words 
What I have here barely covers the amount required to mend your damage 
So how do I get recompense? Her blackened nails tap finely on her chin 
She stands a slight woman, and smiles in a way he cannot comprehend  
What appears to be a ball of fire barrels forth from her widened jaws 
Freezing cold it hits him, where he is twisting on the hook and he is still now 
He opens his eyes and is in a different place, his own bed 
But her voice rings in his head recompense, recompense, recompense 
A dream, night terror, yes
But not the lonely trail of blood down his chest….

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Thankful

Not poetry, but a thank you!! To you, yes you, all of you lovely people out there. For all your kind comments and likes. You have all taken time from your day to read what I write, and for that I am thankful. 

From the very first people who gave me the confidence to set up and show my writing, who told me I should share what I wrote, the person who said “just write”, to everyone now, you all help. 

I am full of grateful thanks. May you all have a blessed day 

Thank you my readers and friends

Ailsa ❤️