Crashing storm

All around the storm bangs shaking

Everything I knew before into newness

Difficult paths ahead and I see your lips move

Lightning cracks illuminating you

As you fall away from me

My hands grasp on to nothing

You’re trying to be heard and the raging

Seems to fight your message

And you free fall bringing another voice

You both speak my name in the scene

Technicolour and I can’t do anything for you

Either of you except make sure

You’re remembered for the good

I awake screaming at your being yanked away

My fear in eyes and voice

I know you’ll speak again soon

When my turmoil is more settled

When my seas have fallen calm

When my crashing storm has passed.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Advertisements

Gather you in

I gathered you in while falling apart

My fractures hidden from sight

Stroking, cajoling, painfully hoping

That things could heal and might

Go back as they’d been at the start.

I varnished quickly into the night

Over things that I wished not to see

Covering cracks and craters alike

With blind eyes that blamed only me.

I’d sit long nights wondering how wrong

I had gone and trawl searching the depths

Like a fishing boat out on the sea

The storm it raged inside you till it caught

My ankles and began drawing me down

And the bubbles rose from my mouth

A silent scream escaped me

I found my legs kicking wildly out of control

The shackles dissolved with every move

Freedom gained from allowing an end

To gathering you in

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2017

Powers decline

Speak loudly of it to be heard

This hatred that you hold

Nurturing as a newborn babe

Only in poisonous blanket enfold.

Tell me of the feeling that I hold of you

With words I haven’t spoken

Certain my emotion must equal or surpass your own

Sure of the power possessed and of ties unbroken.

My life you think can be only empty

If it’s different from yours

Pathetic how you see me in not needing

Or wanting to settle oldest scores.

The world it carries on moving for now

While hate filled utter curses

Repeating bile and histories wars

No lessons learned, as people burn

And power hungry despots churn

Their declining out the door.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Wishing away

We’ve all done it before

Wished away hours, days, months.

I watch as you wish life gone

To cut short your endurance.

You chuckled like I’m still a silly child

Annoyed every word spoken is not believed.

The automatic yes of course you demanded

It brooks no questions, there are no answers.

That you can voice.

Tell the lies to yourself that all is well

Same old platitudes of being fine.

Even the ranks have closed around you

They know but won’t say

See but won’t look

Avoid my eye when answering simple things.

The barricades are up in the town where all’s well

Defences being built upon daily.

I see cracks in the veneer, a hand span

And know I’m not only a lone creature now

This black sheep that left the fold to live

But I’m a deserter whom none will hear.

As you close down your world almost announcing gleefully

That you’re closing shop, pulling shutters slowly

You know that I’m the one who can see you

And can do nothing as you fade away.

All carry on in unspoken agreement

Tiptoe around what you don’t want to see.

And carry on playing the same old game

Of everything’s wonderful in summer town.

Wishing and fading away.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Wings of the storm 

You pushed, pulled trying to mould me into shape 

Clay on the turntable forgetting, ignoring? Not caring 

The flesh bruised, bone splintered, blood spilt 

Eyes that didn’t cry  

Not that you saw, not that you felt 

As sobs were swallowed deep and churned 

Tears silently rolling down into the vortex 

Moving faster, bubbling, burning 

Sometimes aching from wishing on stars, pebbles, anything 

That just might work 

Till the time when the storm brewed enough to explode 

Sending me forth to a new world on tides unseen 

Roads not travelled and water never crossed before 

Propelled away from your mean smile 

That once appeared shy and urged entanglement 

All you wanted was nothing real 

A picture fractured into mirror shards 

To break me with 

Scarred, damaged by things tainted 

Broken? 

You imagine too strongly your power 

Bloodied wings I thought clipped teaching me to fly 

All over again 

And I soar 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

The time of last 

Knowing it’s the last time they savour it 

Every sense alive and desperate to devour 

Force themselves to eke out each morsel, crumb, sight, sound 

To etch upon memory for when there’s 

Nothing, none, all gone 

Living on memories shrouded in silver light 

The little things ingrained and sharpened 

Did they say this? Feel that? 

Were parts harmlessly imagined 

To apply a balm to the wound an ending day brings 

Does it matter if the essence is unchanged? 

If the truth is polished like glistening silver 

Perfume from flowers which bloomed longer 

In images they create to remember a brighter day 

They look only to replicate a better future 

So let them make it their perfect 

Their wonderful may be your mundane 

Does it matter if it glints a shade brighter? 

Illuminating the end 

Allow the poet license, the storyteller space 

All of us have a tale to tell 

Tell it your way with grace to return the same favour
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

The Attic 

There’s something here that you keep telling me to find 

Not with words but imagery 

Apparently I’ll know it when I see it 

The walls so old and dusty that I  barely see paper on the walls 

Smell of old books rising from boxes long neglected 

All here dumped, forgotten, dusty and old  

Scrub at the walls to reveal a rich ruby pattern on once cream 

Was this a haven for someone? 

It feels like it could become one if the boxes are moved 

Just stacked elsewhere here not taken away 

I see the space is huge,  beams above my head 

A threadbare carpet covering the floor and a shaft of light 

From where? Following the line find a tiny window painted in dark colour 

The rejected here was also protected I muse 

Beauty hidden in old boxes, a dirty wooden trunk 

Carved symbols and initials are waiting to be unveiled 

Will I ever leave this room? 

I have needed to return to a place I can’t recall seeing 

But it’s like a hazy memory 

I can only leave when it’s all tidily boxed away 

Rearranged like the protective armour that stops 

The past from invading the future 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017