Category: Fear

Earth singing days 

The world has played a beautiful tune of flutes and string quartet 

It gives colourful notes we don’t always see 

The sunrise above clouds turn them into a peach meringue 

To a beautiful day of palm trees swaying in sunshine 

And now the light has left the sea crashing ashore 

Cicadas chirp in the trees singing where violins left off 

Natures music carries on if only 

If only we let it 

If only WE help it now 

The thoughts of doing stop and action starts 

Building bridges in bricks and man alike 

Showing slowly that we can live together in harmony not anger 

We don’t need to any of us 

Don’t agree? Live and let live. 

Help don’t harm 

Or it will be too late and she will have no more 

The earth will have no more singing days 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

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Jealousy 

So often the colour ascribed is peagreen  

Though I see a puce showing through 

No reason for it 

You say you don’t like it but change nothing 

Fear of what? 

Failing or just incase you succeed and are accused of changing 

Stay afraid to open your eyes 

Your mind and stagnate like those before 

Imagine you are different and see 

The mistakes they made and you who are afraid 

Repeat as it may mark you different 

Tell yourself you’re owed everything 

You must surely get it then right? 

And still you stand there angry at the world 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

The darkest corners 

Watching as the predator he is 

Hunting without sound or movement stillness his companion 

Inside his head the voices clamour seeking 

Like children to be heard above all others 

Yet the quiet one who shrinks catching his sight 

Or does tonight call for a sporting chase 

Hunt the stronger win through struggle? 

They will all fall where he places them 

Always he is justified saving them from obscurity 

He is angered that his work brings their faces 

Closer 

The ones who are unknown he gave a face, a name 

Never grateful for his help with immortality 

One day he will stop when voices say enough 

Or when glassy eyes stop floating in dreams 

When the compulsion to help them is gone 

Although there is a long way to go for perfection 

And only he is putting himself last 

If they could see they were chosen, special 

Not victims but queens of his passion 

The blood pooling from the latest queen harvested 

He sighs at his sacrifice always his 

Work to be done once more 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Freedom 

This place to go that place to see 

For many a year asked what she wants to be 

Never an answer for it brought raised brows 

Live in real life, remember now 

So she stopped answering and buried the dreams 

Under the rocks at the bottom of the stream 

One day a person who understood everything 

Said dig up the fear and let yourself sing 

The language, song, rhythm, cadence 

Only to you have to make sense 

She waited and thought of how this could be 

I can’t do this reckless thing only for me 

So she started in secret writing scraps of her heart 

And hiding them carefully because they’re not art 

What it took her a while to accept 

Was to give herself freedom from the prison she kept 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Shuffle closer 

Shuffle closer little one I have a tale to tell 

Of golden hordes and dragons offers to save the lives of men 

But just as surely will you hear the souls that they do sell 

Laugh as you wish at monsters lurking in a den 

Be not too certain that I jest so heed me very well
Shuffle closer little one this is a fairy tale 

But have you heard the fae folk passed on as pretty stories? 

Or can you hear warning bells as their ships set a sail 

Feel they’ll conquer all return puffed up and glorious 

Be not so certain that I lie or serve the people best 
Shuffle closer little one your eyes are e’er so wide 

You look at me with painful wounded eyes 

Sure the dragon was evilly wicked inside 

The folks you thought wee faeries gleeful as the great beast dies 

Be careful what you see my child is always to be believed 
The dragon fought for common good 

These fae folk their own goals 

Neither wrong in their own minds eye 

Look closely at the glistening coals 

As their union it now dies 
Shuffle closer little one and learn before the night is through 

That what you see in front of you is exactly as it seems 

Look once, twice maybe thrice 

Until you’re sure as you can be 

Don’t be willing to make that blind jump 

For something you can’t feel 
Shuffle closer little one learn the lesson well 

I know you do trust me now 

But I can hear it clanging madly that life ending bell 

You must see this is your end my child take a bow 
Ailsa 

© AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

 

Patterns of life 

You couldn’t help but hear as the excitement charged his voice 

It’s not done that ever before 

Other voices still talking slowly quieten 

As he yelled 

The blood it flies everywhere, if you do it right 

I mean of all the times I did it and……

What hasn’t happened ?he’s asked urgently 

It makes patterns there’s nothing and then this amazing pattern 

All the times I hit her before well slap cuz I’m not violent right? 

Daring them to disagree 

And it looks the best game I’ve never seen it in life 

Blood lust dripping from his voice 

Like sap from a tree 

Telling himself it’s ok to do it and no one is shocked 

Except for the listener, me at the window 

Sickened and fearful 

For the things that pass for normal  

I will her, whoever she is to run and not return 

Listen to no promises of never again 

Because for some this becomes a pattern of life.
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2016

Creeping gloom

I watch it leech forth like a noxious gas
Wondering why nobody else seems to notice the cloud
Gathering slowly above, around
But who looks up when they still feel the suns warmth? 
Would you check to see it were there or trust
Do you ever see the fog coming at you to swallow you
Until it has you enmeshed inside
Then you panic and scan a horizon that can’t be seen
Heart racing because direction has deserted you
Surety all gone to hells own home
Hearing noises that weren’t there before you’d swear
Or maybe you just didn’t notice
Wrapped in your security blanket of sunshine and harmony
And you stumble afraid of what awaits
Here in the dark dank gloom
The biggest fear may be spending too much time with the monster
That resides in your head
Telling you this may be your ending place
Feel the hands that claw at you hand and foot
Trying to bind you to a place you’d rather not go
Quickening heart
Slowing steps
Body trying to give itself to the inevitable
Fear and gladness,  confusion reigns
What waits in the dark murk of a mind unhinged? 
Come inside
The voice lisps in your ear

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2016

It only counts

If you don’t know him well and he makes you hurt
Then it counts
If you hold her after and tell her it’s okay because you love her
Then it doesn’t
If you buy her something pretty to make her smile
You are entitled
To do as you please and no arguments can be made
Is your justification
When she cried out for you to stop it was encouragement
A mere enticement
No a simple form of encouraging you to carry on
The assault doesn’t count
Because you tell her you love her in between events
And then you were shocked
Weeping and wailing to the world of your confusion
How badly she treated you
Crumbling like an old castle in public places
Silent calls,  or threats of harm
Chameleon you colours change as they suit
More afraid the truth will out
Thinking still of how it was just her being dramatic
It doesn’t count,  does it.
It does. It does.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

The beautiful lies

In the bubble of pretence your smile shifts
Like a ever moving desert sand
Picture change to suit the current story of the day
Pick through the rubble that is your mind
Mask slipping
Rubber stamp on the opposite page
So you can slide back into the rhythm you never had
A dream which didn’t happen
Though if you wait long enough then it might
Drop through the door you watch
You say do nothing and it’ll all work out
Don’t push for your dreams
They’re meant to fade with the light of day
Be like everyone else who asks the question of how
They can change things then accept
Learn to live with the same as the hordes before them
Swallow the beautiful lies like nectar from the gods
It’s a slow dawning till you realise
That bitter taste,  yes that one!
Is the taste of your own dead dreams sucked into eternity
So far out of reach because you deceived yourself
Into thinking you had to follow where you were told
The lie is wrapped in colourful splendour
Don’t breathe it
It can turn you sour slowly curdling like cream left in the heat
Walk,  run, escape the cat calls
Telling you that nothing different can happen
Run towards your hearts whispered wishes
Far from beautifully crafted lies

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Ice in the blood

She’s lying there feigning sleep to escape
Another discussion
One sided as always but he terms it a fair exchange
Same old start strokes her back
And whispers words in her ear in tones of love
Chilling her bones to the marrow
I always wanted to kill someone just once see how it feels
Racing heart she tries to calm
Know you’re listening you went rigid (chuckles)
She feels sick as he tries to nuzzle her neck
Moving slowly out of grasp
Almost
Ice moving through her blood so cold at the thought
Of what is beneath the surface beside her
Is he made of ice,  stone or just a monster
Masquerading as man
She dreams fractured dreams of smashing ice to tiny shards
Not cutting herself
But he won’t harm his words won’t wound
Seeking only a reaction from a sleep fogged mind
Yet yesterday she heard him telling a man
She’s a force to be reckoned with
Supposing that nodding and doing all the right things for him are
Then she must be
Except that deeper person hidden away tells her
Be the person in his smudged brain
Or pretend and let the spirit of the strong one inhabit you
Until the real you can step forward
Go on it urges for survival
The decision is made to obtain freedom
Ice crystals cool her blood

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

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