A wound too far

Hands gripping tightly so I see

Bone crunching bone

Nobody is talking about anything

Unless you’re the topic

And if they laugh it’s at you

You’re sure because it’s what they do.

She’s asks you quietly why they would

Eyes narrow in anger, suspicion

Turned on her because her words

Are what will always be known

Her opinions the most eminent

And she has something for all seasons

It matters not if it’s cutting, hurtful.

The girl turns away sighing

Another battle of wills to try and say

That the world doesn’t not turn

Around one woman or man

Every thought not about her

Still sure the whispers and smiles

The laughter is aimed at you.

From this distance I see the girl

Trying not to sigh or show anything

Which will be misconstrued or hurled

To her head at a later date

When you decide to deride her

Once more for not being the captive

Who is grateful for her tongues captivity

At some point she knows very soon

She will walk away not to return

Her binds have been broken

With your last savage words that tore

One wound too many.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2019

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Chameleon

Opinions change to match the mood

Colours nailed to your mast have

Disappeared in a wink if you can see

A chance for getting something

Anything even if you don’t want it

It’s something gained to be shelved

With the dust and dirt you held onto

In case it came in handy.

Control of others your endgame

By play acting at being guileless

You were taught by a master of deceit

And you’re proud of the ability

To change for the audience

Putting on a coat that says you’re confused

Or a shawl that says I’m determined

And all the while there’s no real you left.

You forgot who you were or could be

When you decided to play the system

To suck everything dry from anyone

Willing to give a drop to the vampiric

Little knowing they’d be slowly worn

Away to nothing by a smiling face saying

It’s your fault for living better lives than me

As the chameleon changes once more.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2019

Broken man

A broken man skeletal but proud

Walks in daring anyone

To mention his weight loss

Haunted face deathly gaunt

Knowing each day brings him closer

To the end.

He knows what is happening

Will tell you after a drink

Wants no sympathy, fact dealing

So there’s not speculation

As he hears them discuss him

Talk about the ‘condition ‘

Coming to take the life he knew

Your words are not accurate

This thing filled him with stoicism

While eating away who he was

Wanting to tell them while asbestos eats

He can still hear every single beat.

Written about the close friend of my dad who was a fighter and battled asbestosis, a very brave man even as he was being broken down.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2019

The black sheep

She was the disappointing one

Who could have done better

Given her chances (insert finger wagging!)

She could have given bragging rights

But dared to follow her path

A line she forged in the dust

How dare she?

Everyone else content to toe the line

Or fly really high by , well

Towing the same line but differently

Not her

Always accused of being in the wrong

Before checking she was in the right

She rebelled in the eyes of some

And her coat became that

Of the black sheep

So long spent trying to fade the colour

Change it, do something to blend

Until one day over many drinks

She met another

Also a black sheep and they decided

That black sheep were the lucky ones

The ones who escaped

The ones who didn’t allow anything

To just happen

They made the things they wanted appear

By hard work and black sheepishness

And between them they decided

That that was just fine

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawley2018

Let us create

Let us create ripples on the shore

That will vibrate out to sea

Cascade across the ocean floor to heal

The damage we have inflicted

Let us create ripples on the land

Reclamation of things we allowed to be poisoned

In our name without our knowledge

But now we know let us fight

For the freedom of the earth

Let us create spaces and places

Where the children can play

We need to be heard as a collective

The ones who think and care

Come let us fight for our children

The children of the future need love

Cages break or cause hatred and war

So let us cause ripples on the shore

On the land, in air, in the press

Ripples that become the new norm

That demand equality for all

Whether you’re black or white

Gay, straight, sure or unsure

Whatever your god or gods

For your own sake and others

Let us create ripples and remember

To use humanity and caring for all.

Let us create ripples that create waves

That wash on shores, bang down doors

And it’s no longer a world of us and them

But we’re united as a people who crave

Love. No bars. Love. No barrier. Love

Full stop

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Little tin man

It pours slowly and carefully on the place

You tried to say was a heart of good

Malicious skeletal grin on a face

Rusty metal box that passes for a heart

Purring out a faint drumbeat

A-v-a-r-i-c-e. A-v-a-r-i-c-e. A-v-a-r-i-c-e.

Words clatter forth telling of broken lives

Who were you to do anything?

Who were you to change something?

Leave it to the rest with perfect worlds

That you tell yourself they live in

A way to accept no responsibility

For the destruction that you’ve caused

Because it’s always someone else’s fault

You ask me to do it, beg me

End it all because you have misery

And I look at the acid that bubbles beside me

Pour only the water as ask for venom

To burn out the golden heart you say is there

All I see is rust, nothing gold even the hair

It’s dirty with the acts you carried out

And however much I’d love to see you scream

I won’t.

I’ll let your greed and the water, the tears shed

Rot what’s left of you

Little tin man, who never got a heart

Nor a brain just a mouth that shouts

Endlessly and desperately to the air

Scream on tin man I’m done.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Wishing away

We’ve all done it before

Wished away hours, days, months.

I watch as you wish life gone

To cut short your endurance.

You chuckled like I’m still a silly child

Annoyed every word spoken is not believed.

The automatic yes of course you demanded

It brooks no questions, there are no answers.

That you can voice.

Tell the lies to yourself that all is well

Same old platitudes of being fine.

Even the ranks have closed around you

They know but won’t say

See but won’t look

Avoid my eye when answering simple things.

The barricades are up in the town where all’s well

Defences being built upon daily.

I see cracks in the veneer, a hand span

And know I’m not only a lone creature now

This black sheep that left the fold to live

But I’m a deserter whom none will hear.

As you close down your world almost announcing gleefully

That you’re closing shop, pulling shutters slowly

You know that I’m the one who can see you

And can do nothing as you fade away.

All carry on in unspoken agreement

Tiptoe around what you don’t want to see.

And carry on playing the same old game

Of everything’s wonderful in summer town.

Wishing and fading away.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017