Blanket Days ~ for a friend.

Hunkered down

Pull a blanket around

Hide in a warm cocoon

Where tea flows

And nobody knows

If you’re staying or leaving soon.

Take a blanket day

Ease the cares away

Running everything to ground

As you nourish your soul

Stop the world grabbing hold

Stay invisible to the crowd

Give to yourself the things

You’re suggesting for others

Treat your own body carefully

As if that of a lover

You’re filling up from the inside

Receive till it oozes out of edges

That you never knew you had

Smoothing away the harshness of days

And making you full once more

Until then stay in your blanket

Warm and caring for you

With what you need and a brew.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2021

Climbing

I see the hill to a hard road ahead

Slippery climb through earth

Wet, sliding and falling

Hit the ground, teeth grinding

Against pain as I force myself on

Enduring to win and take back

My power , my path.

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2020

Do you see me?

Do you see me, really?

Not who you want me to be

Or think I should be

Would be if I shaved my edges off

So you could see what you want

And I would be what you’ve desired

All these years your vision skewed

Have you ever once seen me?

Looked at me closely without distaste

Because I’m not who you envisioned I’d be

When you first started pushing, pulling at me

Trying to remove my awkwardness

Angry that what was there wasn’t desirable

I’ve noticed you still trying to cut

Little bits off when you think nobody sees

But here’s the thing

Even those who don’t know you have it

The vision to go beneath your veneer

They see you too and you’re blind to it.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2020

Lightgiver

Teaching not preaching or leading

Words that said this was me

I can tell you how light is in everyday

Sun shining through a crack in curtains

The lightgiver taught me that

You don’t need baking sun

To warm a scared heart

You don’t need much of anything

To make a new or brighter start

Only one thing is necessary

A willingness for light to flood

As it washes away the dark

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2020

Stillness

She sat there drinking them in. Watching, smiling, nodding, speaking but deliberately not leading.It was a defence mechanism. Taken back to days long ago when her views, dreams and stories were considered stupid or childish.

First she learned to be quieter, and for a while she thought occasionally she was safe, until the words she cast out were spat back on a haze of alcohol and abuse. The stories and verses were burned or binned, because that’s what happens to trash. See?

Foolishly, when she’d thought he believed in her, she gave him a story to read. Since then, daily she’d become a little quieter, a little less herself. One day she realised she wasn’t sure who she was anymore.

That was the day she walked away. She left with less than she arrived with in belongings. Inside, she left with strength, determination to do what she had to, wanted to. Most of all she left with stillness. No longer a racing mind. No longer a terror of the key in the door. No more threats or delivery of nasty surprises to keep her “on her toes”. He awoke her strength hidden deeply away. He unwittingly gave her stillness. He kept everything they had so she could keep her stillness.

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2020

A wound too far

Hands gripping tightly so I see

Bone crunching bone

Nobody is talking about anything

Unless you’re the topic

And if they laugh it’s at you

You’re sure because it’s what they do.

She’s asks you quietly why they would

Eyes narrow in anger, suspicion

Turned on her because her words

Are what will always be known

Her opinions the most eminent

And she has something for all seasons

It matters not if it’s cutting, hurtful.

The girl turns away sighing

Another battle of wills to try and say

That the world doesn’t not turn

Around one woman or man

Every thought not about her

Still sure the whispers and smiles

The laughter is aimed at you.

From this distance I see the girl

Trying not to sigh or show anything

Which will be misconstrued or hurled

To her head at a later date

When you decide to deride her

Once more for not being the captive

Who is grateful for her tongues captivity

At some point she knows very soon

She will walk away not to return

Her binds have been broken

With your last savage words that tore

One wound too many.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2019

Chameleon

Opinions change to match the mood

Colours nailed to your mast have

Disappeared in a wink if you can see

A chance for getting something

Anything even if you don’t want it

It’s something gained to be shelved

With the dust and dirt you held onto

In case it came in handy.

Control of others your endgame

By play acting at being guileless

You were taught by a master of deceit

And you’re proud of the ability

To change for the audience

Putting on a coat that says you’re confused

Or a shawl that says I’m determined

And all the while there’s no real you left.

You forgot who you were or could be

When you decided to play the system

To suck everything dry from anyone

Willing to give a drop to the vampiric

Little knowing they’d be slowly worn

Away to nothing by a smiling face saying

It’s your fault for living better lives than me

As the chameleon changes once more.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2019

Broken man

A broken man skeletal but proud

Walks in daring anyone

To mention his weight loss

Haunted face deathly gaunt

Knowing each day brings him closer

To the end.

He knows what is happening

Will tell you after a drink

Wants no sympathy, fact dealing

So there’s not speculation

As he hears them discuss him

Talk about the ‘condition ‘

Coming to take the life he knew

Your words are not accurate

This thing filled him with stoicism

While eating away who he was

Wanting to tell them while asbestos eats

He can still hear every single beat.

Written about the close friend of my dad who was a fighter and battled asbestosis, a very brave man even as he was being broken down.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2019

The black sheep

She was the disappointing one

Who could have done better

Given her chances (insert finger wagging!)

She could have given bragging rights

But dared to follow her path

A line she forged in the dust

How dare she?

Everyone else content to toe the line

Or fly really high by , well

Towing the same line but differently

Not her

Always accused of being in the wrong

Before checking she was in the right

She rebelled in the eyes of some

And her coat became that

Of the black sheep

So long spent trying to fade the colour

Change it, do something to blend

Until one day over many drinks

She met another

Also a black sheep and they decided

That black sheep were the lucky ones

The ones who escaped

The ones who didn’t allow anything

To just happen

They made the things they wanted appear

By hard work and black sheepishness

And between them they decided

That that was just fine

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawley2018

Let us create

Let us create ripples on the shore

That will vibrate out to sea

Cascade across the ocean floor to heal

The damage we have inflicted

Let us create ripples on the land

Reclamation of things we allowed to be poisoned

In our name without our knowledge

But now we know let us fight

For the freedom of the earth

Let us create spaces and places

Where the children can play

We need to be heard as a collective

The ones who think and care

Come let us fight for our children

The children of the future need love

Cages break or cause hatred and war

So let us cause ripples on the shore

On the land, in air, in the press

Ripples that become the new norm

That demand equality for all

Whether you’re black or white

Gay, straight, sure or unsure

Whatever your god or gods

For your own sake and others

Let us create ripples and remember

To use humanity and caring for all.

Let us create ripples that create waves

That wash on shores, bang down doors

And it’s no longer a world of us and them

But we’re united as a people who crave

Love. No bars. Love. No barrier. Love

Full stop

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

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