She the mother

She’s probably on streets the world over
But you only pay attention to her when you don’t expect her,
That lady who is always a mother to all
To friend and stranger
You’ll know her when you see her in a glance
Has to know if you are warm,  happy and fed
Whether or not she has children of her own to hold
She has made a child of you
This is no belittlement just a sign of human grace
This person cares for any and all
Why can’t that include you? 
You could be nine years old or ninety she’ll care for you the same
Don’t mistake her care for anything but love of human race
I met one of these momma ladies upon a cobbled street
All wrapped up against the cold she felt
But she stopped her day to greet
The stranger in her villageshe chose to care for was me
She had to know if I was well and warm
Before she’d go on her way
Our language it was different,  gestures did just fine
Somehow our words were of no matter
I knew hers and she knew mine.
Once she was satisfied that all was well and good
Just like any other momma she told me I needed to get warm
Even though I wasn’t cold, and get inside beside a fire
And get some decent food.
I haven’t met her before or since but my heart was warmer for it
That lady,  momma, grandma, nonna,
Showed her light of caring it shone so bright
I’m touched beyond measure by the caring of that stranger
Who decided that she saw a child no matter of their age
Just for one moment I was a hand,  a heart to hold.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Where do you go to?

You locked the door so long ago that you misplaced the key

So where do you go to all locked away in your head, is it lonely?

I think you brought down the shutter with such a clanging thump

That your disappointment in an imperfect world left your heart a icy lump

Full of brazen bluff and blunt rebuff, and generic words of prudence

Platitudes with no substance giving yourself the false assurance.

You cant let anyone inside even were they to pick the locks now

Inside the shutter is a gate, and a wall, so nobody’s going to be let into the show

That you put forth as real

No one will see that the husk can still feel

So afraid of losing and being left behind all alone

You cast all the shadows and yourself in stone.

©Ailsa Cawley poetry 2015

Silent words

I saw the words crossing not your lips, but your eyes

A shadow of incomprehension as to why try it this thing

Why look at something bizarre and so many what ifs as to make it impossible

In never straying too far from your own back yard it’s tied you

By an invisible cord of fear that constricts your movement

Forcing shut your eyes because different isn’t the done thing

Changing means you’ve forgotten your roots, broken the branches

Of a tree that doesn’t exist, except in your mind where you created it.

You can create too but fear is blinding you.

Tell yourself it’s safe here with what you know, no risks.

And those who try different paths are mere fools

While deep in your jealous heart you wish it was you

If only you could pluck the courage up to try , beyond the safety of the garden gate .

Poison

To some it’s like a drug they crave
The more they hand out, others they’ll save
Their acid barbs and twisted tongues words
Are given for the good of health they’d heard
If they break you down with loaded spears
Just get over it, it was best you know never fear
They will smile in fake apology and get on their way
Feeling good that they took the time to say
What others are saying because it’s of crystal clarity
And you didn’t say a word so there’s no disparity
Between what they said and what you’re thinking
That chalice of poison given for drinking
Remember one thing if you challenge or don’t
Theirs is jealous insecurity covered and honed.

Ailsa

Fluid

Flowing in my veins like a river,  my blood
Flowing from my eyes in rivulets,  my tears
Flowing through my head sometimes without a destination
Flowing through my heart the painful and happy days
To those who think we are rooted
Forever to be held in one spot I say
How can that be?
I am fluid
Allow yourself to be fluid and flow freely
Be fluid

Ailsa

Pulling the wool

How far do you think the yarn will stretch before it frays and unravels?

Like your fragile balance of the truth you want to believe and cold hard facts

The wonderful phrase of let’s be friends, in time you’ll see

And blame what’s that, because it has not been me!!

Except it has

Whose eyes are you trying to shield from the absolute worst of the truth

I see through you like an old tattered bridal veil, story full of holes

You can only look at yourself as if an uneducated youth

Who couldn’t possibly conceive of  their actions turning a person to stone

Except it has almost

Don’t imagine for one second you have the power of a goddess

The images racing through your head I don’t want to imagine at all

They are demented, self worshipping and foretell future distress

I shall have no pleasure in hearing you had an almighty, painful  fall

Except  one thing is without doubt

The yarns will fray, strings do break

And you will

How to mistake your feelings

It’s not a difficult thing to get wrong the feelings game
I could have said I had no connection to you
So very easily
This time last year
Now my heart and head have agreed on something
That doesn’t happen so very often
Suddenly I realised I’d been building a castle of a man
Someone I wanted to see from being a child
Who you are really
Who my head tried to make you
And they are different
Not remotely similar to any notion I had
You were so remote I invented you
Like an imaginary friend
Who I couldn’t measure up to
I have realised I don’t have any measuring up to do
And I can’t and won’t try
Because we both did it you see
Built sand castles and stuck the other atop
Now?
The sea has parted the sand and we are so….
Different,  opposite
I accept the terms of the future
That each of us may know the other
Like an acquaintance
Too late for more, family,  friendship even
I care,  you care
And it has to be left there
I now feel peace towards you.

Ailsa

Magicians apprentice

You tell yourself that you are so much better than this lowly rank

It’s easy you know after watching a few cheap tricks and card games

The ribbons pulled through the sleeves of the flapping jacket

Nothing to it, you’re unstoppable, right? Wrong!!

The face I see is astonished at my lack of understanding and blind faith

Because it will work without a doubt if you just believe in something

Anything will do, as long as it’s different to what you said was true before

The witch was never melted by water, there was something else

But that’s your problem, you’ll search long and hard to find the perfect time

To show everyone how bright and shiny you’re becoming

You bought a new cloak, changed the name you give until the point

Where you are confused at who you are, what you are, why you…

So many questions in your magic world of dreams and fairies, and happy endings

No trying because the magic will find you with your stolen invisible cloak

Of colours nobody else can see

The dragon coming towards you is oh so cleverly disguised

You put out the wand of prettiest crystal to stroke the unicorn in imagined blessing

To be consumed by the breath of the dragon you could not see.

The forest banquet

She wandered the forest in the witching hour, a drumbeat in her veins

The tattered dress once of silk and lace hanging in rags on her frame

But this pilgrimage is one to make through the painstaking trek

No-one believes her, but she gives not a care,

They say she imagines things that there’s nobody there

Nodding to themselves and one another about the “silly old woman ” who meets her lover.

She comes to a clearing and begins to dance

Slowly in circles, building up slowly  and losing her years

Till the young girl she stops in mid twirl on a carpet of clover

Behind her a light shines over her shoulder of creamy white skin,

And it comes from within the nearest trees

The table is set with a lamp as she turns,  a long cloth of moss it’s cover

He’s here, and is serving the food, the wine

To the lady in the emerald silk, with the pearls at her neck

Her spinning took her back to the time he was here before

She’s to go back soon but she knows it’s really and truly just fine

For then they will be together for all of the time

The banquet is finished, lights are dim, she sighs

Quietly hugs him goodnight, no words are exchanged

Once again old, dressed in tattered rags she hobbles to her home

A smile on her face and a wave from her hand

She closes the door and gets ready for bed, shabby dress on a chair

Will she tell anyone of her travel tonight?

This time she thinks it’s my secret, they all think I’m mad

But have no idea what they’ve missed by closing their eyes to the light

A life so ordinary

The thing you wanted me to reject so badly to make me better, you said

Was a life so ordinary where the real people live

The world where money and power was both question and answer

But I ask you once more, who is it you’re afraid of?

If it’s ever gained you anything except more emptiness inside

I see you carry on digging like a dog hunting it’s bone

For that thing, that elusive thing to complete your picture

That last colour that changes the image to one of contentment

That will change the drab greys and bathe them in golden sunlight

It’s not so difficult to find the treasure you seek

Stop looking for the pot brimming with gold, riches, power

Just look for the container that looks a little battered and bruised but standing

It isn’t on view unless you take off the blinkers

It isn’t made of precious metals but looks, well, ordinary

All you need is there, the things to make you whole, heal and console

If you stop being afraid of a life so ordinary