Month: August 2015

Many shades of it surrounding her as she went on her way,
From icier tones that she felt deep in her bones
To the midnight beauty that pressed in her head
And told her that monsters lived not in her mind
But with and around her, surly,  unkind
The chill of the blue it was deep and lasting
From life she was hiding, fasting
She’d grown used to this state,  the stage of the cold
Where life looked in with no hand to hold
Until one day she decided she deserved to look up
To allow herself to drink from the golden cup
Full of sweet syrup and honey
Dew and raindrops, tasted so funny
But she liked it and thought why should I keep forgetting me,
Who I am?
What is so wrong with the shades that I am?
The colours in others may be in me.
And she stopped that thought for it was scary you see.
Till one day a glorious myriad of colour
Showered her world.
She decided that she could set herself free from the prison
Have colour, light (maybe), and choices other than blue
If she had the courage to walk away from you

Ailsa

You enter the shaded woodland
As the sun dips in the sky
Blues fading to golden pinks and reds
The horns take shape inside your head
That freedom flows through your veins
Surrounding you, trees seal your fate.
Dancing heart joyous mind
Lifted above beyond your kind
Baser knowledge of a life once known
Aware that you are more than you showed
To anyone
Who ever sees inside your head
Horns are waiting on golden threads
Free you so you can run and prance
It doesn’t need to be a tuneful romance
That takes you on a whirling chase
Or lead you to a higher sense of grace
Pull out the horns and care not what
You may have or even not!
Do only as you think you should
Whether it be bad or good
Give yourself another day and night
Before the world begins to bite

Ailsa

One by one they disappear into nothing
Those bubbles you carelessly created
Are popping
Leaving a prism of colour as they die
With no replacement in sight
I can see from my own personal shore
Your eyes are blinkered to what you think is impossible
The can’t happen truths of life
And the storm cloud pressure descending
How don’t you notice that the scales have fallen?
And the myths are replaced by truths
To slowly reveal who you are
Her anger, disappointment, justified rightly
Spent and turned to dust
One day when every bubble has burst it’s confines
And the prisms have turned out the lights
You will notice what it was
That was
Trapped
Inside them
Her heart and soul
Floating free above you as she tramples you underfoot

Ailsa

As you howl at the moon in unbridled despair
Don’t forget that promise I made
For the time you walk this starlit earth
Woods, glades and trees
I shall be forever there
You may not see or feel my touch
For I inhabit another realm
The veil between us is so thin
That I am but a whisper breath away
Call me as you need me please
Like you always would before
I am merely in a form upon a distant shore
So talk to me often, tell me your dreams
And any new plans
These things I need to know
It wasn’t a choice to stay or to go my dear
But I am always close to hand.
When you howl I howl with you, my grief is raw too
We in time will get beyond this state
But give yourself time it’s ok to wait
Take your own pace
A day at a time
I have always loved my Wolf woman who was always mine

Written for a friend

Ailsa

I am alerted to your presence by a wave
Not from you but a good friend
More observant of your arrival than I
She waves urgently telling me to turn to you
I had not sensed you
This time
But I turn as though we did this frequently
As of course we must
When I am less aware of
Things
You need to see a place special and new
We walk you and I, everywhere
And your smile tells me you are pleased with the choice
I hoped you would be
Lifted by your approval of the hills and sea
Your arm through mine
A feather of a touch, barely there
Turning to speak you are gone again
I have returned to the other lands that draw near
Looking at a just baked lemon cake and a steaming mug
Opposite the friend who was my alert
So I could answer your call

Ailsa

Down on the shores they gather in quiet harmony
The seasoned showing the others
How to catch their own peace
To hook and reel it slowly to their side
Learning patience, understanding, hope
Small movements in semi meditation
Handing on wisdom to the uninitiated within
Quiet explanation of a simple soulful act
The watchers who have no concept walk away
With no notion that they could in a few silent moments
Have felt peace within their troubled being

Ailsa

Your eyes are dark flashing blades of anger
Pure glints break from them
These twin daggers whistle through the air
The whoosh of rapid movement quickening now
Need to let yourself purge your soul
Of the deepest hurt and pain
Silver light shoots forth from darkened depths
A quest for truth and justice
In a life not yet understood or queried
Until the day
You stopped and took stock of what you saw
Weighed,  measured the whole picture
Picking apart the elements
Conclusions now being drawn for future reference
The purpose not yet clear
It will be in time
When you have learned to accept what you cannot change
To channel your angry spirit
And stay back from the spin on every story
A Web you can extricate yourself from
Guilt that will stop working on you
For you will free yourself when you know it’s time
To start your own new story
I will be there do not fear,  my child
The time must be yours not mine to choose
I try to wait quietly by the sidelines
What you see must be your sight not my tint
For your truth is yours alone
I shall remain your support and crutch
Lean when you want to

Ailsa

Your tongue clicks to show disapproval
Of a subject you can’t comprehend
Picking holes in the fabric already woven
Into a future you see no point
Or is it simply fear you rattle at me
Tick, tick, why would you do this?
Click, click, but it can’t work because I see nothing
I have lived in blinkered suppression always
But I LIKE IT that way
I don’t need to think of a scary beyond

Your little tirade of fear exhausted
The baseless facts faithless ground barren
I see you shake your head, eyes blank
Ready to say I told you so
It couldn’t work
A different world never could, change is….
An abomination
Stay here,  the same as always
To fade and die like you were, in safety.

Ailsa

Watching from the boat a floating stage
I am looking around
Feel the eyes upon me
Neck, skin prickling beneath a gaze unseen
I see you suddenly
Hidden in the treetop home you built
Your stillness beautiful
Carved from finest alabaster
I am not real you try to tell me urgently
You can look but will never find me
My children are not here
We are figments
Of your fevered mind
Blink and you’ll miss me as I did you
I was never here
Look over at the mountains, the sea
You can marvel at others antics
I have faded already from you
Like a movie screen gone black, blank.
I will hide somewhere else my head low
You were never meant to see me
Soon you shall forget you did.

Ailsa

As you talk I glimpse the steel within
Your face contorted with bunched up rage
It’s unravelling slowly
Piece by broken piece
Like the balloon that loses its tethered post
I watch as you float slowly away
You are chipping away gently for freedom
Escaping the contorted prison
In which you have tried to make perfect so long
Drifting now
But never aimlessly
To a new place where you are not prohibited
From being your own person
Only the you that you consent to be
Is who you will be now
I say nothing, nod for your freedom.

Ailsa