Clicking

Your tongue clicks to show disapproval
Of a subject you can’t comprehend
Picking holes in the fabric already woven
Into a future you see no point
Or is it simply fear you rattle at me
Tick, tick, why would you do this?
Click, click, but it can’t work because I see nothing
I have lived in blinkered suppression always
But I LIKE IT that way
I don’t need to think of a scary beyond

Your little tirade of fear exhausted
The baseless facts faithless ground barren
I see you shake your head, eyes blank
Ready to say I told you so
It couldn’t work
A different world never could, change is….
An abomination
Stay here,  the same as always
To fade and die like you were, in safety.

Ailsa

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Heronry hotel

Watching from the boat a floating stage
I am looking around
Feel the eyes upon me
Neck, skin prickling beneath a gaze unseen
I see you suddenly
Hidden in the treetop home you built
Your stillness beautiful
Carved from finest alabaster
I am not real you try to tell me urgently
You can look but will never find me
My children are not here
We are figments
Of your fevered mind
Blink and you’ll miss me as I did you
I was never here
Look over at the mountains, the sea
You can marvel at others antics
I have faded already from you
Like a movie screen gone black, blank.
I will hide somewhere else my head low
You were never meant to see me
Soon you shall forget you did.

Ailsa

Glinting steel

As you talk I glimpse the steel within
Your face contorted with bunched up rage
It’s unravelling slowly
Piece by broken piece
Like the balloon that loses its tethered post
I watch as you float slowly away
You are chipping away gently for freedom
Escaping the contorted prison
In which you have tried to make perfect so long
Drifting now
But never aimlessly
To a new place where you are not prohibited
From being your own person
Only the you that you consent to be
Is who you will be now
I say nothing, nod for your freedom.

Ailsa

As she walked

She breathed in deep her senses alive
As she wandered in heather and gorse
The brooding volcanic hills
Overhead
Commanding
Come near, nearer still till we touch you
Take over your core, nestle within
So your very existence is dependent
On breathing us in
Feeling our hearts beat in you
Passing the trust for this beautiful land
Rugged,  dark and beseeching,
Wild, windswept all of these things
But bringing you mostly
To realise one thing
You’re returning home to yourself

Ailsa

Caught out

However much I try to give a pointer
Just a roadsign to the inner workings
You look above
Beyond and away
If I speak about the North you turn your back
So you look South and cannot hear my voice
Ignore the message till I stop gazing at you in wonder
And the emotions turn to anger or resentment
Then ask but why?
Do I not give everything
You have a boredom level so low nothing can matter
Never is your heart touched by anything
Too securely chained, locked down for surety
That it can’t be caught, deliberately elusive
And as the players in the game walk away
Or perhaps run
Swiftly towards living
You stand still with your back to the voice
Until it disappears into the middle distance
Only a faint echo remains
To remind of what was there.

Ailsa

And the beauty

It speaks to me that beauty of the hills
Biting at the corners of my mind
eating into my soul and burying itself
So deeply down
It cannot leave
Flowing through my blood swirling
I don’t want it to leave me alone
Now I have found it’s deep bite
Such sweetness
Filling my heart
I am finally filled with peace and tranquility
Whole and complete with a deep need
To have this completeness always
Fill me from
The inside out
I have all I desire and want
Beautiful storm drenched skies above
Call to me to watch them properly
With the awe of a newborn child
Drink them in
Yet never learn
Everything that there can be done
Learn the beauty of the hills I love
Their changing moods far and wide
Changing their faces
Never the depths
Always speaking to me with soothing tones
Through the wind and rain their calm undertones prevail
And I am once more
Just as before
A complete being able to find solace

Ailsa

Nothing changes

You want to show the world how different you are
How you dealt with pain and covered scars
But deep down inside where you have to be true
Your the same old honest to goodness you
Well less honest if we’re speaking plain
More of the same old rubbish once again
Of how can I manoeuvre the situation now
Just a counter move, cross fire for power
To gain the upper hand and say look what I’ve done
All of it delivered an elaborate con
Poor little me and hang dog expression
You lost in the race so full of aggression
Too late now the crowd has seen through
And now your own bullets are firing at you!

Ailsa