Eliza’s escape

Her years of living downtrodden

Were over she’d decided

Careful where she’d once been carefree

Words measured to be sure

The desired reaction will occur.

So Eliza spoke slowly eyes darting

To the faces in the room

Gauging the changes that said

Enough now give it a rest!

Then she’d laugh at herself before them

And when they said she’d no idea

Her head nodded in agreement.

Inside she’d fade a little more

Fake fixed smile no sad face here

When she’s the clown after all.

So used to hearing “you’re crackers ”

It was a stock phrase used

If she dared offer an opinion

And avoided the darkness that lurked

Behind their smiles, their eyes

In their savage minds.

She knew what happened in the evening

If she over stepped her bounds

So much when it was someone else

Whose cries she would hear

She’d order the sound turned down.

Eliza was so used to this world

Where she had to tag along

She decided after a few more years

That she could disappear after all.

Managing a believable illness

Only see through to a few

She held the gossamer curtain in place

Until she left the world by fading away

Slowly over the years and when they stopped

Taking notice, and her every breath

Into account . Her last revenge

was to bring the curtain down.

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2018

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Hitching a lift

It’s heavy work when you’re a kid

Carrying all this bread on trays

So I hitched a lift

On a passing trolley bus

And slipped

In one end out the other

I saw my mother striding out

Face went white to red

You stupid lad she said

As she’s slapping me on the head

Then she kisses me and wipes it

Like she’s never done it

It was like skating on the road

And I don’t see the problem

After all I never dropped any bread

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Mama

I’m walking over cobblestone skin tingling

Towards the lady I saw sometime

Shared a brief hello and smiles

I was alone that day just walking

Exploring a land not mine

I’m a stranger made welcome here.

This time I am in a group and she gives

A loving smile and hugs me tender hug

To her my pale skin is cold she worries

Head to foot she wears the black garb of her peers

She points to herself and me showing we are known

To one another if nobody else

She tells my family her name

I am in a foreign land I could be rejected

I am not

She puffs out her chest and says one thing

“Mama”, and again “Mama” with warning

She reaches into her bag, giving me sweets

Giving me tissues, and rubbing my arms

To warm me as only a mother can.

She points to show me where to find her

I nod understanding to this mother

Familiar yet unfamiliar

Family but not blood

Am kissed on both cheeks lovingly

By the never to be forgotten

Mama

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Let us create

Let us create ripples on the shore

That will vibrate out to sea

Cascade across the ocean floor to heal

The damage we have inflicted

Let us create ripples on the land

Reclamation of things we allowed to be poisoned

In our name without our knowledge

But now we know let us fight

For the freedom of the earth

Let us create spaces and places

Where the children can play

We need to be heard as a collective

The ones who think and care

Come let us fight for our children

The children of the future need love

Cages break or cause hatred and war

So let us cause ripples on the shore

On the land, in air, in the press

Ripples that become the new norm

That demand equality for all

Whether you’re black or white

Gay, straight, sure or unsure

Whatever your god or gods

For your own sake and others

Let us create ripples and remember

To use humanity and caring for all.

Let us create ripples that create waves

That wash on shores, bang down doors

And it’s no longer a world of us and them

But we’re united as a people who crave

Love. No bars. Love. No barrier. Love

Full stop

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry2018

Powers decline

Speak loudly of it to be heard

This hatred that you hold

Nurturing as a newborn babe

Only in poisonous blanket enfold.

Tell me of the feeling that I hold of you

With words I haven’t spoken

Certain my emotion must equal or surpass your own

Sure of the power possessed and of ties unbroken.

My life you think can be only empty

If it’s different from yours

Pathetic how you see me in not needing

Or wanting to settle oldest scores.

The world it carries on moving for now

While hate filled utter curses

Repeating bile and histories wars

No lessons learned, as people burn

And power hungry despots churn

Their declining out the door.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Wishing away

We’ve all done it before

Wished away hours, days, months.

I watch as you wish life gone

To cut short your endurance.

You chuckled like I’m still a silly child

Annoyed every word spoken is not believed.

The automatic yes of course you demanded

It brooks no questions, there are no answers.

That you can voice.

Tell the lies to yourself that all is well

Same old platitudes of being fine.

Even the ranks have closed around you

They know but won’t say

See but won’t look

Avoid my eye when answering simple things.

The barricades are up in the town where all’s well

Defences being built upon daily.

I see cracks in the veneer, a hand span

And know I’m not only a lone creature now

This black sheep that left the fold to live

But I’m a deserter whom none will hear.

As you close down your world almost announcing gleefully

That you’re closing shop, pulling shutters slowly

You know that I’m the one who can see you

And can do nothing as you fade away.

All carry on in unspoken agreement

Tiptoe around what you don’t want to see.

And carry on playing the same old game

Of everything’s wonderful in summer town.

Wishing and fading away.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

The Attic 

There’s something here that you keep telling me to find 

Not with words but imagery 

Apparently I’ll know it when I see it 

The walls so old and dusty that I  barely see paper on the walls 

Smell of old books rising from boxes long neglected 

All here dumped, forgotten, dusty and old  

Scrub at the walls to reveal a rich ruby pattern on once cream 

Was this a haven for someone? 

It feels like it could become one if the boxes are moved 

Just stacked elsewhere here not taken away 

I see the space is huge,  beams above my head 

A threadbare carpet covering the floor and a shaft of light 

From where? Following the line find a tiny window painted in dark colour 

The rejected here was also protected I muse 

Beauty hidden in old boxes, a dirty wooden trunk 

Carved symbols and initials are waiting to be unveiled 

Will I ever leave this room? 

I have needed to return to a place I can’t recall seeing 

But it’s like a hazy memory 

I can only leave when it’s all tidily boxed away 

Rearranged like the protective armour that stops 

The past from invading the future 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017