Category: Uncategorized

And you know

Yes you know, you know whatever they say 

When it comes your time to go 

The fear of those demons is floating up, away 

Your soul is learning to make it’s peace will show 

Fair slender hands as it steals your life again. 

Have you been before you wonder or do you really care 

It seems everyone wants you to think of things 

You’d rather keep, never share 

So you hold it close in skeletal grip while the ice inside increases 

Yes you know, you know whatever they say 

When it comes your time to go 

Worlds ahead they matter more than whether breathing ceases

And so my friend I watch you as you shrink from nothing 

Fulfilling your own prophesy by giving death your word of honour 

And showing him he has no sting 

Keeping till the very last your darkness so there is no clamour 

No grand following, or exodus for that was your farewell 

You knew, you knew it was your time to say things in your fashion 

You said with such passion

As no other ever can, my friend, my friend you know.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Almost time

It’s almost that time, etched on my brain when memories dance 

I tell myself to concentrate on only the things of the distant past 

But everywhere has the same song on play that reminds me of you 

The words that up to now meant something slightly deeper than a Yule song 

But this year the pot inside me they stir and they churn 

Tears at my eyes keep tinkling and burning 

I want to switch off

But I make myself listen 

And I’ll sing the line that makes me cry all over again, again

Sending wishes on feathers through the air to you 

As you did to me 

I am pulling the threads of the cloak to keep warm 

Feeling the chill of your loss deep 

I carry you in my soul a corner that’s yours forever 

People ask if you could be replaced or just put aside in time 

Why would I remove you 

I am as much a part of you now as I ever was 

My soul misses yours,  we shared hopes and dreams 

And I still talk as I did telling you of all the days, 

Smiles and tears in equal amounts 

One day I know more happiness will flow but for now I just allow 

What I need to come out 
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Faithless 

The words you speak tell me I am faithless 

That I hold my head aloft to the skies in fabulous pretence 

And I look to piles of rust, not shining icons ahead 

But I have looked through and past your little ruse now 

I look above, beyond so I don’t feel compelled to look at your twisted countenance 

Which sees someone they know nothing of except a wishful longing 

Of who they’d be if……. 

And remains perplexed that my mettle can bend but not break 

So yes I am as you say faithless utterly faithless 

Gasp as you wish

The reason I am as I am is you 

You tried to keep my faith by breaking me apart 

And succeeded only in creating something stronger in its place 

Faithless I am, peaceful I shall stay
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

What is it they see?

As she glances away from the looking glass to be

Anyone else than whom they imagine they see

Her mind it plays all these things in her head

What if,  for instance,  this is all let’s pretend?

The smiles were fake but the laughter was real

They don’t even like me and I know it’s true what I feel

And other people have friends but I missed out on this page

Should I have been someone who changed to suit the age

I can’t register all the same things that they do

My thoughts on things stay more constant and true

Must I keep up with fashion and trends

If all I want is a few trusted friends?  

Turning again and looking into the glass

Her eyes like grey flint harden at last

Who else can I be she’s resolved to herself

Than the original intended even if it’s only myself.  

How long did it take to come to this decision?

Many long years and so much derision

Now standing proud and holding herself up straighter

To herself she’s now true and no longer the traitor.

 

Ailsa

© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Ethereal Beauty

I watch her as behind her eyes go beyond illuminated, dancing 
With mischief and mirth freed from their hiding place 
For now she is free to be, as simple or complex as that makes her 
She is only allowed this time by sheer chance 
Yet I see her essence escape and glide effortlessly 
Talking, laughing, dancing in her most ethereal form 
I ache to tell her that this self needs to be made free without censure 
Know she wouldn’t believe me and tamp her flames down to nothing  
So I watch
And it is a joyful sight 
But a tiny part of me cries, knowing that this part of her is hostage 
Only because she is told to keep it hidden from sight 
She sees ordinary, I watch a rare beauty a natural beauty 
I told her once she was beautiful and she thought I mocked her 
Then it dawned I meant my words and she said I was kind 
But she really knew 
Her limits didn’t include beauty 
I don’t know if she fully believed when I told her she was truly beautiful 
When she allows her spirit freedom her beacon shines
Maybe that’s what he’s afraid of? 
He’s terrified of something 

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Twisting on the hook

The woman extracts casually what she needs as he watches in fear 
You must know it was harmless….he begins
To whom? Her eyebrow arches as no reply is heard
Pulling the cloak tighter she says quietly people can be broken 
There is a price to be paid, when we carelessly cause hurt, 
The scales weigh and measure the blackened removed heart 
You expect to hurt, cause pain, destroy and casually stroll away? 
His mouth opens and closes like a goldfish in a bowl, but no words 
What I have here barely covers the amount required to mend your damage 
So how do I get recompense? Her blackened nails tap finely on her chin 
She stands a slight woman, and smiles in a way he cannot comprehend  
What appears to be a ball of fire barrels forth from her widened jaws 
Freezing cold it hits him, where he is twisting on the hook and he is still now 
He opens his eyes and is in a different place, his own bed 
But her voice rings in his head recompense, recompense, recompense 
A dream, night terror, yes
But not the lonely trail of blood down his chest….

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Thankful

Not poetry, but a thank you!! To you, yes you, all of you lovely people out there. For all your kind comments and likes. You have all taken time from your day to read what I write, and for that I am thankful. 

From the very first people who gave me the confidence to set up and show my writing, who told me I should share what I wrote, the person who said “just write”, to everyone now, you all help. 

I am full of grateful thanks. May you all have a blessed day 

Thank you my readers and friends

Ailsa ❤️

Little Miss Roses (II)

You were oh so clever you thought all down the line
The line that kept twisting and turning
Desperation for more perfection and yelling it’s mine 
Till inside you only feel this fear and it’s burning.
Yes little miss roses, life’s never so perfect as you want it to be
While you hurt and you hunt down the carers for you 
Or you get offered two things but demand to have three 
Doesn’t matter if it’s right or if it’s true 
You built yourself a problem like children build snowmen
With the fun and determination to succeed 
You had one small blip on your landscape but counted ten,
And then you decided to add in your own special greed.
Did you look before you leapt into your latest fairytale and magic?
Or did you just think now the roses are planted you’re saved
That it can’t turn all human and nasty and tragic 
When you decide to make your peace with the heart you engraved 
Your name with leisurely careless pride 
You’re going to discover the hurtful truth
There is nothing left but emptiness rattling around inside.
Barricade your windows, your doors, hide from the hurt you caused
And when you sniff the scent of the roses you hastily planted
Then will be time to wonder should you have paused.

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Game Plan

She answers deferring, vacant expression 
As they stand in a line to explain 
Shaking their heads in laughing session
That she made a mistake yet again.

Profuse apologies commence from her lips
Nervously laughing as she stumbles about
They join together, an armada of ships 
Like guns they barrel poison words out

Are you stupid woman, can you not see it?
It’s so clear to us you aren’t of this world 
You haven’t a clue not even a bit 
As one has a hand in fist curled

The day has come, she has suffered enough
This mousey woman for whom nobody cares
She has decided now it’s time to get tough 
Out of the room she’s climbing the stairs

Her husband walks in, yes she’s sick 
Tells him she can’t even walk out the door 
They’ve no idea about what makes her tick 
And her decision is to take their haranguing to take no more 

She cannot be bold and speak of the plan
So now she stays till they leave her in her bed 
Then away she will go from that place where they ban, 
Her thoughts and her dreams from out of her head

Yes we saw, and you denied it was not possible it was you 
All over the place, bag clutched firmly in your hand 
Your eyes beseeching do not insist this is true 
Or on all my hopes they will again stand.

So little woman, they convinced you you’re stupid and mad
Now they run around looking like an army of pesky ants 
Their appearances tired, know now what they had 
As their old perfect world takes on a tough new slant.

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

Offering everything

That was your battle cry, I heard it loudly as your anger exploded

Like a geyser when the pressure allows it to escape unchecked 

I gave her everything, I always offered everything everything she’d want

Did I what ? you say 

You scoff, why would I need to ask what she would want? 

I chose things to give her, pretty things to dress her up in like my own doll 

Yet she looks at me like I don’t know her at all!!

What would she like you to spend most? I ask 

Why there’s only money, you absurd creature (he’s chortling now, looking for an audience)

He folds his arms laughing loudly.

And pales when I whisper “time, you never spent time”.
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015