Category: People

Wolven ways of working

The sheeplike face changed to my confusion
As the lupine features emerge as a free beast again
I had to hide from the fears that cause hate
He nods to emphasise his point
If a harmless lamb you see before you or a wolf
What would you choose?
You’re taught from infant to reject all that’s clever
They say I’m cunning,  sly,  so I played
Their game as they like it and won
Did you see me as I really am behind what I presented?
Eyes question my thoughts but lips never move
I heard the exchange in my head
Now my panic sets in and I am certain I’m mad
For since when can an animal shape change?
Squeaks my human brain
Terror strikes your heart as I break the bonds you gave
Turn dead eyes to me dull like a fish that’s sacrificed
The sheeplike face hiding behind it’s sameness
Show me the wolf her difference and honesty
She will warn if she is striking
I take the wolf in the hills as my creature any time
It’s the sheep facade I care nothing for

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Stepping in to time

She steps in,  out,  forward around anything to not speak
Deep in the depths is that hidden away hazelnut
The one with the curse inside
Sometimes she dares herself to pour the secret out
Like a cup of molten chocolate thick and gooey
No longer worried about neat edges
Because it may spill everywhere
How much longer before she cracks the nut and it all
EXPLODES!!
And what then, what happens?
She sighs and watches while she lets the steam escape
Tamp it down a little longer
Forcing the lid on her secret self and making her lips smile
Because she is afraid of something
Herself
She’s getting sick of smiling in the face of her rage
Playing the role corrupt as it is
The nutshell has cracks and she is breaking free
When she is unleashed heaven help you for her storm breaking
Could bring your destruction

Ailsa
© AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

Almost time

It’s almost that time, etched on my brain when memories dance 

I tell myself to concentrate on only the things of the distant past 

But everywhere has the same song on play that reminds me of you 

The words that up to now meant something slightly deeper than a Yule song 

But this year the pot inside me they stir and they churn 

Tears at my eyes keep tinkling and burning 

I want to switch off

But I make myself listen 

And I’ll sing the line that makes me cry all over again, again

Sending wishes on feathers through the air to you 

As you did to me 

I am pulling the threads of the cloak to keep warm 

Feeling the chill of your loss deep 

I carry you in my soul a corner that’s yours forever 

People ask if you could be replaced or just put aside in time 

Why would I remove you 

I am as much a part of you now as I ever was 

My soul misses yours,  we shared hopes and dreams 

And I still talk as I did telling you of all the days, 

Smiles and tears in equal amounts 

One day I know more happiness will flow but for now I just allow 

What I need to come out 
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Faithless 

The words you speak tell me I am faithless 

That I hold my head aloft to the skies in fabulous pretence 

And I look to piles of rust, not shining icons ahead 

But I have looked through and past your little ruse now 

I look above, beyond so I don’t feel compelled to look at your twisted countenance 

Which sees someone they know nothing of except a wishful longing 

Of who they’d be if……. 

And remains perplexed that my mettle can bend but not break 

So yes I am as you say faithless utterly faithless 

Gasp as you wish

The reason I am as I am is you 

You tried to keep my faith by breaking me apart 

And succeeded only in creating something stronger in its place 

Faithless I am, peaceful I shall stay
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

What is it they see?

As she glances away from the looking glass to be

Anyone else than whom they imagine they see

Her mind it plays all these things in her head

What if,  for instance,  this is all let’s pretend?

The smiles were fake but the laughter was real

They don’t even like me and I know it’s true what I feel

And other people have friends but I missed out on this page

Should I have been someone who changed to suit the age

I can’t register all the same things that they do

My thoughts on things stay more constant and true

Must I keep up with fashion and trends

If all I want is a few trusted friends?  

Turning again and looking into the glass

Her eyes like grey flint harden at last

Who else can I be she’s resolved to herself

Than the original intended even if it’s only myself.  

How long did it take to come to this decision?

Many long years and so much derision

Now standing proud and holding herself up straighter

To herself she’s now true and no longer the traitor.

 

Ailsa

© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Waiting

You wait for me to comment on your created world
But this time it won’t happen
I watch quietly for you may disturb the resting
Phantoms
Should you do so fearing my angry roar will be the least
Of your worries
For I have warned you to beware the trees
They remember all your past doings and they wait
For you to become dust
And to strengthen their majestic dynasty
Yes I remember you have no fear of anything
No man, beast so you say
But you have your age old fear of the dark places
You know in the locked place
The one you call your heart
And I name an empty chamber of ghouls
That the darkness calls to you cosseting your ears
With a lovers smooth words
One day you will walk into your own forest
Full of ogres, spectres,  ghouls of days gone
You thought
And find yourself unable to escape from your own creation

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Painted world

Watching in the mirror with a sultry smile painted on
She hides herself away
The glare of the masses harsh against her mind
Trying to change to create
A self that is accepted by others she nods
For now she’s covered herself up and who can tell?
The paint like a warriors woad designed with care
Impressive and exactly portraying something
Her power she thinks is an imaginary force
Coming with the paint
She will discover one day as she forgets powder and kohl
It was always there flowing
Just beneath the surface waiting to erupt
And change the world she inhabits

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Blinded by glitter

You tell yourself it’ll be fine and you’ll get to it later
Because it’s never went wrong on you before has it?
Has it?
Oh right, I forgot again, nothing is ever your fault
And while you scurry off muttering white rabbits and chasing
The latest piece of blinding glitter down a hole,
To find out of this is the piece of glitter to make yoy whole
Complete the collection
You missed the one who shines with effervescent light beside you,
Or pushed behind you because you saw glitter
And had to chase your precious
Whilst leaving a diamond surrounded by rubies in the dust
Because it hadn’t enough glamour and wonder the shine worn off
Chase your next dream
Go on be my guest there will be nothing left next time you turn
To the jewel of them all
So many warnings and portents of your ruination have you had
Yet you ignored them all as fools knowing nothing
Carry on taking till there’s nothing left but ask yourself
What happens then?
Too blinded by glitter to see the real shine of truth
And now you’re left no sparkle, no sunshine warmth
In a yellowing sepia picture left out in the desert too long
Dry ,crackling and bare
You remember behind you, turn but nobody is there.

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Understanding

It’s dawning on her slowly as she seeks to not believe
That again the door is closed on her
A step forward with a smile she nods and offers a yes
To the question of whether she understands
Of course she doesn’t but what can be said
It makes no difference to say otherwise and appear foolish
When the door to discussion is locked and barred
Where do you go
You can have no understanding or clarity
And it changes nothing
Just adds one more tick to the chart of letdowns
Going towards the land of doesn’t matter any more
He has won a small victory with no arguments he thinks
Puffed up with ego like a balloon floating on his win
Till the day he is left shocked as he watches her
Cut the cord
In full and clear understanding.

Ailsa
© AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Inner sanctum

I feel myself being propelled towards you without a clue why
But an absolute knowing that there is meaning in meeting
A friend I think that just brightens the moments
Because you sparkle with life,  enthusiasm for all
And you draw people in
They like me can become hypnotised in your company
You have that gift you give with no awareness
That there’s no-one else in the world but the person now
And you leave them feeling that way
Brighter, more hopeful and knowing that you mean your words
They are not merely vowels and consonants tacked together
That fall apart in the tiniest shower of rain
Hold fast and promises are made to keep
So I know as you spread sparkle from your eyes
Invisible glitter that brightens a day here or there
That you have just given more than you are aware of
When someone sidles by and asks am I jealous
Their startled face is blank when I say
I get far more sparkle than you see here
But the biggest thing is this
(They move closer for the secret)
I have seen his darkness too and that sharing is more
Anyone can share a smile and hide the deepest gloom
But the person who shares that unbidden
Who trusts their pain,  in it’s entirety to my hands
Will never cause jealousy by giving the public side
They keep the private for me and a trusted few
And I am proud to be within that inner sanctum

Ailsa
© AilsaCawley Poetry 2015