Boneyard of hope

I step in the boneyard tripping here and there
On a carefully placed bone
Left in the misplaced hope that I will fear
The other side of this place
Sure it is cold from the lack of life and sunlight
Only a dusty sand carpet
Exactly as the makers intended it barren and empty
I am warm without the sunshine
The bone at my feet is not one of human flesh
I can crush it with bare hands to dust
Call out to the winds that fear will not defeat this dream
However much it is dressed up as end times
To get through this I need only trust
And the bones of sand will wither and turn to dust

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2016

Parallel lives

Alongside me for an age but living elsewhere 

Floating in your own bubble 

Of the perfection you thought you created whilst wreaking 

Havoc mixed with desolation 

And you call me to tell me you’re so perfectly irresistible 

Forgotten are the tears I cried 

Waved aside your hurtful words and shameful lies 

Things you thought me to stupid 

To ever comprehend are stored in my memory banks 

Packed in darkened boxes in recesses 

Shoved away messily for fear of their escape pulling me down 

I refuse to sink on this ship of fools 

You hoped to create from a patchwork quilt of sewn together lies 

Half truths and hurt  

Never a strong swimmer until the moment I was in danger 

Of being consumed by a fabricated world of parallel lives 

Cutting the water with arms like blades 

I fling myself upon a rock  

The solid thing to be my salvation in this sea of doom 

That I only noticed when I needed it. 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Seeking

And you keep seeking that elusive thing 
The one you’ll know before you find it
One difference in the air
Will make it bend to your will adoration flowing forth
Like you are a god with an offering at the altar
You wait growing ever older never wiser
Desperately seeking something but what? 
You shrug because you will know
And I shake my head
As I see you once more search for a thing
That’s nonexistent
An empty shell you can build into what you think
You might want
For now
Twisting to the beat of a wind you imagine blowing
A perfectly coiffed exterior
Never ceasing turmoil for the agenda has changed again
Your list longer
Denial and suspicion your own enemies
Built by you into monsters
Laying in the dark every day and night
And you are still desperately trying to see the prettiest baubles
To hang in the window
Hoping the seeking is ended but it is Neverending
You only want perfect

Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2016

Destination unknown

Fireflies dance along the pathway like fluttering beacons
The path illuminated with gentle light
Healing each step as if sending a dart to my heart
This one hope,  that one balm
Flickering amongst themselves a conversation in flight
My destination uncertain,  unknown
I find I don’t care trusting my fate to an ethereal presence
Whose hand guides my shoulder
As I take on the falling rocks and howling winds
Led by no solid man
On a pathway trodden before me though the steps long gone
Worn almost smooth the rocks I now walk barefoot
My feet and soul as one
Rest awhile and gather scattered thoughts
Fireflies around me protectively dancing
I nod to carry on destination still unknown
But certainty that all will be well dwelling deep inside
The path must be trodden not from a duty
But for my own peace
My heart bleeding in harmony with the splintered paint on the door
Which lies ahead with walls unseen
Mouth dry I feel drunk on expectation as I stagger
To my journeys end
Or have I travelled to a new beginning?

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Skimming the surface

Reaching in she pulls the paddle over and under trying hard 

To remove the scum gently  

If only she can be gentle enough with more time or patience her inner voice says 

It will be just as it should 

Again she works to remove another cruddy layer in determined silence 

The other voice tells another story 

Walk away abandon it, save yourself it beats a stronger rhythm than before 

A clang awakes her from her reverie 

Nothing clings to the paddle at her side so she checks the waste bucket at her side 

Perplexed at its emptiness of anything solid  

Realising that all along the shift was something she thought she was doing 

But she skimmed the surface of an empty barrel 

What she tried to perfect , put right is nothingness and just how she wonders 

Could that ever be done? 
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016 

The beautiful lies

In the bubble of pretence your smile shifts
Like a ever moving desert sand
Picture change to suit the current story of the day
Pick through the rubble that is your mind
Mask slipping
Rubber stamp on the opposite page
So you can slide back into the rhythm you never had
A dream which didn’t happen
Though if you wait long enough then it might
Drop through the door you watch
You say do nothing and it’ll all work out
Don’t push for your dreams
They’re meant to fade with the light of day
Be like everyone else who asks the question of how
They can change things then accept
Learn to live with the same as the hordes before them
Swallow the beautiful lies like nectar from the gods
It’s a slow dawning till you realise
That bitter taste,  yes that one!
Is the taste of your own dead dreams sucked into eternity
So far out of reach because you deceived yourself
Into thinking you had to follow where you were told
The lie is wrapped in colourful splendour
Don’t breathe it
It can turn you sour slowly curdling like cream left in the heat
Walk,  run, escape the cat calls
Telling you that nothing different can happen
Run towards your hearts whispered wishes
Far from beautifully crafted lies

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Understand no dreams

It’s a childish thing your expressions say
No words just a twist of the lip
Curled in distaste and what you assume is knowing
Your vision doesn’t want to go beyond the garden gate
So you make the outer prison walls pretty
But liveable
Any new experience of mine has you
wondering what if I have gone
Too far this time and I’m falling on my face
Making a grotesque clown of myself
With childish dreams that should be in a box hidden
From sight,  thought and deed
Hide you whisper,  close down your mind
Dreams are not for living
Only thinking
You will me to give it up before I begin
I never could stay in the boxes designated for me
And you tut tut silently shaking your head
As I start to build not a castle for long dead lives
But a home,  simple and without barriers
No fence to imprison me
Or pretty garden to disguise it’s true meaning
Just a place I am at peace and home.
There is no grander a wish for me
Than understanding a dream can be real.

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016