Category: feelings

Where have we gone?

When we look first at a man’s religion to decide if he matters
When the colour of his skin arouses suspicion or hate
Where have we gone?
When will we open our eyes and see how we can accept
When will we learn every difference doesn’t mean reject
Where have we gone?
Straying down paths fuelled by bile and hate
Chasing down pathways someone lesser to bait
Where have we gone?
This human decency we all swear to our gods that we have
That we’ll care for the next man if he’s proven to be without a life too grave
Where have we gone?
That we alienate all because who knows if
They will be that person who will help us be human and live
When will we come back and see
It’s time to move forward world as a unified we.
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2015

Friendly warning

You tell me you are unequivocally sorry for angering me
As you do something to prove the words wrong
Don’t do it just learn
If you must have petty stories floating on summer air
I can see straight through you
Trying to put forward control like a dainty thing
Followed by blazing aggression
When I refuse to roll over,  cave in,  get on board
I may be quiet and seem malleable
I’m not
Just keeping back my words that could shred you
Like the sharpest knives if I want to
But there’s no point in causing further distress
To anyone I care for
Better to lift the shield higher with the hurting behind me
As long as I can
Know that if you overstep the mark, that one in the sand
I will come for you and your sly smile won’t work
Your quiet surprise then vocal vitriol can spew forth
I am immune to you, your words
You have no idea what to expect from me

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Beauty

Shining in your eyes a lively spark of humour dances

A flame you try to hide behind words that contain cultivated steel 

It was tended slowly, carefully learned lessons glow.

You try not to show beauty for that means vulnerability and you were taught 

Never show your weaknesses for they will be exploited  

And you will learn the hard way

So you say little or too much trying to build a perfect shield

Choosing your confidantes with extreme care 

Told to smile, be agreeable to just dance on strings prettily little puppet 

Your eyes show flinty grey with lightning sparks of anger 

Chewing them up with words they don’t understand 

With wisdom they dismiss because they think it’s not nice 

Do you care?

Not one jot 

And it’s all I can do to allow myself to be the brave woman you were

The beautiful, brave, dangerous woman who is only herself.
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

Seeing your face

I see you in my dreams and wake with you gone
Feel your breath close by my face
Hear phrases you utter unexpectedly
So much so that I look for you
Sometimes
Convinced I will see you
Though I don’t
Whirling round as you were there at the corners of my vision
But never quick enough never damned quick enough
To catch you properly
Before
You scooted away again like a child playing hide and seek
One day
I’ll be faster or you’ll be slower
And it won’t just be in my dreams but you’ll be
There
Close enough to touch
And I will be seeing your face
One day.

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Within

Shhhh you whispered in my ear stop looking
You cannot see me in other places always
Quiet yourself and be still
Now your voice smiles in my head
Can you not feel me when you do not search so desperately?
I am there in every fibre of your being
Existing because you don’t wish to forget me
Stop your search dear one I am where I always was
And will remain within whenever you have need of me
Look no more unless it is within
Speak and I shall hear your voice and answer
In a way you understand within

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

In a box (escaping)

You want to do something different ? Well that’s understandable (stupid,!)

Why do you think you could do that when I keep you safely imprisoned

In the box disguised as somewhere you might flourish, when you learn…  

To leave yourself behind and become the dutiful copy I desire?

His expression straining against impatience

Like a wild animal fighting in his own soft features 

That hide so well the steel cage lying behind the twisted smile (grimace) 

Slowly explaining to her what she’s wanted for, expected to be. 

Don’t be ridiculous how can you expect to obtain happiness 

You don’t get it do you?

Life is not about happy just existing, coasting with occasional sunshine 

But happy , happy

And he laughs to ensure she feels small enough

To keep in the box like a forgotten toy , used sometimes

Cruelly and briefly to his satisfaction 

He hasn’t seen that look in her eyes as her mind numbs to his laughter  

She smiles to herself and he thinks it’s at him 

But her plans for escape have just begun to take shape 

How she doesn’t know but she will break out of the box 

In a box

What could you possibly wish for ? He queried 

Squaring his shoulders waiting to go into defensive mode

You live in a house that gives no more than a basic shelter 

A domestic slave with my chosen for you friends

Narrowed eyes await confirmation of his rightness in everything 

Bore into her as she tries to tear her gaze away

I erm well I just want to have something I choose you see

She nods emphatically knowing it was the wrong thing to say. 

A tirade ensues as he tells her he is wiser, knows more

Accept the unacceptable he says

Run yourself a bath you’re obviously overwrought 

Pats her shoulder with a smile and a warning glare 

She turns away wondering why she’s so damned ungrateful 

Once again angered and disappointed,  been hateful

To even mention any dissatisfaction that’s stirs or causes a ripple 

In the mercurial waters 

She’s wishing she’d just learn to say nothing at all 

Swoop and dive like the fluttering bird he wishes for 

But it’s there deep down the stirring resentment begun

Can she ignore it? Not for long.
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

Remembrance

Your memories are safe here enshrined at the door
Of which we nod with gratitude and thanks evermore
We may not know a loved one lost in the fight you fought
But hearts thank you for bravery given without a second thought
You gave your lives for future freedom you may never see
But that of the children at home you’d never bounce upon your knee
Our poppy it is worn with your sacrifice in mind
Of the lives you left at home and wives you left behind
You did it all with love and justice beating in your hearts
A better world you could see if we could only start
So now in the poppy fields where wildest blooms do grow
Should we not show that in the driest earth love can surely grow?
We must always remember your willingness to die
But the underlying reason for future generations to have less reason to cry.
Please respect these wishes for a free world and try again
Before we inflict upon our children more horror death or pain.

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Gilded folly

She’d passed days there knowing there was something else

But what?

It was out there twinkling in the night skies 

Shifting on the breeze like tiniest diamond fragments

It sparkled briefly and when she turned to glimpse

It disappeared.

She grew disillusioned berating herself for living in faeryland

And held the golden bars of her gilded cage

When glancing down she noticed for the first time

A key 

Curiosity pushed forward telling her to just peek 

She could always go back pretending nothing had been there 

And forget her boredom of the pretty cell and go back to 

Being pleasing 

Deep down something primeval stirred ,escape maybe?

Pushing through the barrier and turning the key 

Taking a deep breath to force her courage

Took a step

And with not a backward glance but some fear in her depths

She pushed forward anxious to find out

To know what she could be other than a gilded bird

A golden song thrush 

 From her past of building wonderment and disquiet 

To her new existence which allows the real person free

Taking her through difficulties past everything to her own

Transcendence 

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015

With grateful thanks and blessings to Michelle Quesada Art for use of her painting .https://www.facebook.com/MichelleQuesadaArt/photos/a.548594798534688.1073741829.548514958542672/552981418096026/?type=3

Dawn procession

Gloom lifting slowly showing a pale yellow light in the distance 

Almost hesitant a lonely voice calls announcing daybreak  

In darkness you waited 

In silence

Almost afraid 

To make that first sound to wake the sleeping world from slumber

You wonder if you really heard that solitary call

So you wait

Holding your breath so long your chest wants to burst

It seems

Closer, clearer, more confident another peep, another 

Till there is a procession that heralds the dawn 

That thanks the world for the day that’s arrived 

Blessing it greatly

For its light, a new hope

An extra chance to be as new in the world

Now you understand the dawning 

It has taken place and inside you feel your soul sing in recognition 

Of earth, nature , the dawn procession 
Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry 2015