Month: October 2015

Withered within

It was empty inside like a shell long devoid of the snail
The bits that made me strong and capable
Felt like a tangle of too many crossed wires
And then I met you and I wanted to stand there
To talk all night about everything and nothing
No ulterior motive just to feel human
To say what I thought,  debate all night
Didn’t matter who if either was right or wrong
Only to know I counted that I had a place
It didn’t have to be anything big or wondrous
Nor did it have to mean much to anyone
And I never expected it would or could
But it was there, a reed with the water of life
Taking away the vinegar I always tasted
The sourness of feeling wrong and cursed
Or stuck in a never ending maze with the way out barred
With my insides dried up,  like old fruit
And my heart which beat only because it had to
It beat only for my child who I was afraid to lose
Change and lose
Stay and lose
Suddenly my head told my heart it was time
And the drumbeat began in earnest
It played a song I didn’t understand
Still find difficult sometimes as it’s still new
It’s a long song,  a forever song
A song of circles,  rings and returning home
To a present and future
To the freedom and togetherness which I never knew
Thought of as faery tales and myths
And know now they can be real
If you believe
Do you believe?

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

When Shadows Are Long

Another great one from UU. 🙂

John White's avatarDoubleU = W

not just from the autumnal

or from the angle of the sun

as the trees provide a much

larger protective canopy

or when even the smallest

house seems to occupy

a much larger footprint

or when the light appears

to streak across the landscape

rather than bathe it from above

no

when, for the entire year,

from solstice to solstice,

when I am able to bask

in the shadows of the greats

as their shade grows longer

covering many more beneath,

then perhaps I too can relish

in all of the beauty they created

and find the stirring that

will cause my shadow

to extend to the horizon

———————————————————-

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She the mother

She’s probably on streets the world over
But you only pay attention to her when you don’t expect her,
That lady who is always a mother to all
To friend and stranger
You’ll know her when you see her in a glance
Has to know if you are warm,  happy and fed
Whether or not she has children of her own to hold
She has made a child of you
This is no belittlement just a sign of human grace
This person cares for any and all
Why can’t that include you? 
You could be nine years old or ninety she’ll care for you the same
Don’t mistake her care for anything but love of human race
I met one of these momma ladies upon a cobbled street
All wrapped up against the cold she felt
But she stopped her day to greet
The stranger in her villageshe chose to care for was me
She had to know if I was well and warm
Before she’d go on her way
Our language it was different,  gestures did just fine
Somehow our words were of no matter
I knew hers and she knew mine.
Once she was satisfied that all was well and good
Just like any other momma she told me I needed to get warm
Even though I wasn’t cold, and get inside beside a fire
And get some decent food.
I haven’t met her before or since but my heart was warmer for it
That lady,  momma, grandma, nonna,
Showed her light of caring it shone so bright
I’m touched beyond measure by the caring of that stranger
Who decided that she saw a child no matter of their age
Just for one moment I was a hand,  a heart to hold.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

Ailsa
©AilsaCawley Poetry 2015

A big Thankyou!!

Nope this isn’t poetry (you may be pleased /disappointed to hear.  Feel free to delete as necessary!)
I wanted to say a big Thankyou to all the followers of the blog,  and thanks also for the kind words of encouragement some people have given me. ❤

Ailsa

Where do you go to?

You locked the door so long ago that you misplaced the key

So where do you go to all locked away in your head, is it lonely?

I think you brought down the shutter with such a clanging thump

That your disappointment in an imperfect world left your heart a icy lump

Full of brazen bluff and blunt rebuff, and generic words of prudence

Platitudes with no substance giving yourself the false assurance.

You cant let anyone inside even were they to pick the locks now

Inside the shutter is a gate, and a wall, so nobody’s going to be let into the show

That you put forth as real

No one will see that the husk can still feel

So afraid of losing and being left behind all alone

You cast all the shadows and yourself in stone.

©Ailsa Cawley poetry 2015

Silent words

I saw the words crossing not your lips, but your eyes

A shadow of incomprehension as to why try it this thing

Why look at something bizarre and so many what ifs as to make it impossible

In never straying too far from your own back yard it’s tied you

By an invisible cord of fear that constricts your movement

Forcing shut your eyes because different isn’t the done thing

Changing means you’ve forgotten your roots, broken the branches

Of a tree that doesn’t exist, except in your mind where you created it.

You can create too but fear is blinding you.

Tell yourself it’s safe here with what you know, no risks.

And those who try different paths are mere fools

While deep in your jealous heart you wish it was you

If only you could pluck the courage up to try , beyond the safety of the garden gate .

By the Lord Larry

Walking home from school one day I found a tiny bird lying on the ground

What could I do and how to help this helpless baby that I’d found ?

When in he steps, Lord Larry, with his red hair all a mess

In painty clothes and smelling of turpentine, dirty boots at best

But to me, here you were because you could solve it all

If my dad was elsewhere, it was you that I would call

So minus shining armour, and steed of gleaming white

You smiled and said “I will help you, and look after him tonight ”

You told me I could dry my tears , you would take him with you

Nurse him if you had to , and he would make it through

I believed for many a year that you had set him free

imagined that you nursed a fledgling on your knees

In a way I guess you did, when you eased his suffering.

And you eased his end so pain could not bring.

I never got to thank you for being that shining knight

For that was the last time I saw you as you died after being my light

You had no wife, family, children of your own

but a gentle gentleman you were and that had always shown.

So to you my Lord Larry, I raise a goblet filled with cheer

For giving others help and erasing any fears.

To some this was just a normal man, but it means an awful lot

When you take the pain of others and give all you have got.

You always stayed a hero, I guess you always will

Lord Larry was a good man, Lord Larry you are still.

Poison

To some it’s like a drug they crave
The more they hand out, others they’ll save
Their acid barbs and twisted tongues words
Are given for the good of health they’d heard
If they break you down with loaded spears
Just get over it, it was best you know never fear
They will smile in fake apology and get on their way
Feeling good that they took the time to say
What others are saying because it’s of crystal clarity
And you didn’t say a word so there’s no disparity
Between what they said and what you’re thinking
That chalice of poison given for drinking
Remember one thing if you challenge or don’t
Theirs is jealous insecurity covered and honed.

Ailsa

Heat of light.

#nationalpoetryday 2015

I thought it would be pure emptiness
When you went to the otherworld
But I went into your room
Just a momentary pause in the day
And I felt it,  filling me from feet up
Warm, glowing white light
The purest light a love can offer
And I am forever blessed
In dark days I can dig deep
For the candle you placed there
I shall be forever grateful for it.
Thankyou for the white pure love light

Ailsa

Fluid

Flowing in my veins like a river,  my blood
Flowing from my eyes in rivulets,  my tears
Flowing through my head sometimes without a destination
Flowing through my heart the painful and happy days
To those who think we are rooted
Forever to be held in one spot I say
How can that be?
I am fluid
Allow yourself to be fluid and flow freely
Be fluid

Ailsa