Category: Uncategorized

Gather you in

I gathered you in while falling apart

My fractures hidden from sight

Stroking, cajoling, painfully hoping

That things could heal and might

Go back as they’d been at the start.

I varnished quickly into the night

Over things that I wished not to see

Covering cracks and craters alike

With blind eyes that blamed only me.

I’d sit long nights wondering how wrong

I had gone and trawl searching the depths

Like a fishing boat out on the sea

The storm it raged inside you till it caught

My ankles and began drawing me down

And the bubbles rose from my mouth

A silent scream escaped me

I found my legs kicking wildly out of control

The shackles dissolved with every move

Freedom gained from allowing an end

To gathering you in

Ailsa

©️AilsaCawleyPoetry 2017

Your game

You smiled knowing your message

was one designed to cut me,

in your eyes, strong versus weak.

And you would win for sure.

Peppering honeyed tones with barbs

destined to hurt and destroy,

you’d be victor, rigid versus pliant

And you would win for sure.

Didn’t tear strips with razor blades

but tried to bend and break me,

you’d be puppeteer making me dance

And you would win for sure.

I’d say I’m sorry it wasn’t how you imagined

The game would play, but I’m not.

I found your bubble is self created

You’re terrified I’ll win for sure.

In case you’re in doubt I don’t do competitions

To be popularity plus

Wake up and get past your fears

Life isn’t meant to be a drama

With people playing bit parts

Nor is it how skilfully worn your armour

As you aim for someone’s heart.

I can play the game but I’ve opted out

You can carry it on with someone else

But don’t be surprised if they know what you’re about

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Jack

He’s back, back that gentleman Jack,

Springing into action once more

Lithe and bowing low

Blue flames he does blow

Fiery eyes burning to your core

He’s back, back the gentleman Jack

Be wary of his charm

As he links your arm

Binding you in his spell

Till he can return you to new Hell

He’s back, back that trickster Jack

Have you seen him?

Would you even know?

Be careful now he’s back

Whisper his name Spring Heeled Jack

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Overflow

It’s dripping like a leaking tap

Into an old sink

Plink, plink, plop

Watch it filling over weeks, months

Drop of worry here

Splash of anxiety there

A potent salty cocktail

Built on volatility and fear

The dam sets up to burst.

When it’s time will you know?

No holding back the wave

As I’m overcome with the flow

I feel the overflow explosion

Words tumble out

Tripping over everything in the world

The salt is stifling my breath

And I sob like a child

Feel like a fool

As I am overcome

Until it has had it’s way

And left me a broken wreck

On the floor

Ailsa

©AilsaCawley2017

Life, my world and the latest…

Life goes in cycles they say and sometimes you look back (particularly in Autumn I find!), and assess what has happened this year and what I really want to happen.

I’m meeting up with two or three groups of friends who have changed lots of things for, and with me, in other years and this one.

Some parts of life seem to go at breakneck speed and others appear to take forever.

I am grateful for the regular (and not so..) contributions of comments and encouragement. I know I’ve neglected the blog a lot in the year. It’s been A. Busy B. I lost confidence for a time.

I’ve got things better sorted, not totally, I mean I’m just not that organised. Hopefully I’m more on it than I was before!!

Whether you comment or like or whatever, it’s always appreciated and some dark spots have been helped by kind words. Never discount that your words mean anything. They do. Really. No REALLY!! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for staying with the blog.

Ailsa ❤️

Powers decline

Speak loudly of it to be heard

This hatred that you hold

Nurturing as a newborn babe

Only in poisonous blanket enfold.

Tell me of the feeling that I hold of you

With words I haven’t spoken

Certain my emotion must equal or surpass your own

Sure of the power possessed and of ties unbroken.

My life you think can be only empty

If it’s different from yours

Pathetic how you see me in not needing

Or wanting to settle oldest scores.

The world it carries on moving for now

While hate filled utter curses

Repeating bile and histories wars

No lessons learned, as people burn

And power hungry despots churn

Their declining out the door.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Wishing away

We’ve all done it before

Wished away hours, days, months.

I watch as you wish life gone

To cut short your endurance.

You chuckled like I’m still a silly child

Annoyed every word spoken is not believed.

The automatic yes of course you demanded

It brooks no questions, there are no answers.

That you can voice.

Tell the lies to yourself that all is well

Same old platitudes of being fine.

Even the ranks have closed around you

They know but won’t say

See but won’t look

Avoid my eye when answering simple things.

The barricades are up in the town where all’s well

Defences being built upon daily.

I see cracks in the veneer, a hand span

And know I’m not only a lone creature now

This black sheep that left the fold to live

But I’m a deserter whom none will hear.

As you close down your world almost announcing gleefully

That you’re closing shop, pulling shutters slowly

You know that I’m the one who can see you

And can do nothing as you fade away.

All carry on in unspoken agreement

Tiptoe around what you don’t want to see.

And carry on playing the same old game

Of everything’s wonderful in summer town.

Wishing and fading away.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Palette of time 

Hardly able to breathe and skin tingling 

She watches as it creeps forward 

Awe filling her very being 

Almost as if its unsure of welcome

It begins to glow 

Not certain of how open to be 

In trailing upward tendrils her escaped breath moving 

Small wisps not disturbing the movement 

Legs sinking down onto the dry earth 

No knowledge of her descent 

And closer, brighter it moves 

She couldn’t shift if she wanted to 

She doesn’t, 

Won’t, can’t till it’s ended 

Fierce hues spring forth envelope all 

Flames licking the trees and they succumb 

Grateful or compliant? 

Crimson to purple all shades combine 

A palette of vibrance alight 

Alive 

As the sun dies through the trees once more 

Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Wings of the storm 

You pushed, pulled trying to mould me into shape 

Clay on the turntable forgetting, ignoring? Not caring 

The flesh bruised, bone splintered, blood spilt 

Eyes that didn’t cry  

Not that you saw, not that you felt 

As sobs were swallowed deep and churned 

Tears silently rolling down into the vortex 

Moving faster, bubbling, burning 

Sometimes aching from wishing on stars, pebbles, anything 

That just might work 

Till the time when the storm brewed enough to explode 

Sending me forth to a new world on tides unseen 

Roads not travelled and water never crossed before 

Propelled away from your mean smile 

That once appeared shy and urged entanglement 

All you wanted was nothing real 

A picture fractured into mirror shards 

To break me with 

Scarred, damaged by things tainted 

Broken? 

You imagine too strongly your power 

Bloodied wings I thought clipped teaching me to fly 

All over again 

And I soar 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

The time of last 

Knowing it’s the last time they savour it 

Every sense alive and desperate to devour 

Force themselves to eke out each morsel, crumb, sight, sound 

To etch upon memory for when there’s 

Nothing, none, all gone 

Living on memories shrouded in silver light 

The little things ingrained and sharpened 

Did they say this? Feel that? 

Were parts harmlessly imagined 

To apply a balm to the wound an ending day brings 

Does it matter if the essence is unchanged? 

If the truth is polished like glistening silver 

Perfume from flowers which bloomed longer 

In images they create to remember a brighter day 

They look only to replicate a better future 

So let them make it their perfect 

Their wonderful may be your mundane 

Does it matter if it glints a shade brighter? 

Illuminating the end 

Allow the poet license, the storyteller space 

All of us have a tale to tell 

Tell it your way with grace to return the same favour
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017