Watching me closely a monitor of the hatred
You imagine I must hold
That’s your driving emotion deep in the dark part of you
Once I held pity like a prisoner
Understanding as a lamp or beacon
Now, now I have
Nothing
Just a space where once I dragged excuses from
To say why you did or didn’t and gave silent approval
For your lack of care to carry on
Unreasonable unchecked
Never did you fear a rebuke or worse
Like a child seeking attention by default
You try to goad an angry reaction from empty canals
Nothing flows any more in the land of yesterday
The fear you instilled to pick at her confidence is gone
Melted as ice in the sun
She has no energy to give you and now as the child you remain
Your ploys for something to feed your self esteem
Are ignored by her ears
Forever deaf to the need to be first, last, centre
As flotsam you float away
Ignored
Ailsa
©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016
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