Category: feelings

Built on a fable 

The things you were sure were absolute truth 

Lie in pieces on your minds cutting room floor 

Stories force fed from childhood through youth 

Leave you wondering what else you don’t know 

As your beliefs have just fled through the door 

There are dark things that whisper in the edge of your mind 

Some may be real most are not 

You regret thoughts you had about someone you knew 

What was the need for such a secretive plot?

The answers to queries you’ll never receive 

So let them go back before you 

Make them  unimportant and give them no spot  

Or your mind they’ll never leave 

Treat them as memories someone wished to be true 

But not as spectres to keep haunting you 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Swallowed by the mist 

I heard the news that my nightmare was gone 

That the past has set me free 

No longer will I see you and shake while putting 

A mask over my face, mind screaming RUN!!  

The message that delivered the news made me sigh 

Never wished you ill but no more checking out every 

Direction because you might appear 

One day 

Thinking do I visit where the past dwells 

Some things were subtle and I thought it imagined 

You kept saying I’d never cope 

But I did and I have 

I can never forget the words that chilled my blood 

After your tears had fallen in hot angry springs 

The begging on deaf ears 

The casual words of I wonder if we should get married 

I wonder if a dead woman would be so bold 

Always wanted to kill someone 

And yet I don’t hate 

You don’t exist anymore 

My gratitude for the news that gives me peace immeasurable 

Even if that makes me a monster 

You are swallowed by the mist of time 

Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Promise to dust 

Promises fill the air floating as dust motes 

See them dancing prettily full of maybes 

This time is the whisper 

Your hand grasps out not greedy but desperate 

For this time to be the one time 

And you can hold it close forever 

Inhale it deeply to keep feeling it 

Once more 

Once more you see 

The dust promise float away 

You hide troth upon falsehood so it crumbles 

Impermanent and imperfect 

Like a frost that draws you to step up test it’s reality 

And it melts, crumbling away to 

The dust promise it always was
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

Solstice night 

I feel the chilling air frozen to my marrow 

Yet the start of this ending is 

Different and hopeful 

Snow lies on the hills and sky heavy with it 

Pinkish warning clouds like lamps to relay 

The days are staying cold 

Nights coming up inky blues and velvety black 

Bright stars shining a warning of winters turn 

The ground crunches frost underfoot my heart dancing 

Quickening, body may be cold but the soul knows 

To get to light the dark solstice must pass 

Rest and reparations take place 

The world will return to glory for next spring tide 

Once again we will forget the rest time, the feast 

No solstice is dark or light alone 

Newness and endings come to all whatever the station 

Stop, drink it in, rest, dancing at the fire 

Then move ahead through mist and sun alike 

They will return again and after we are dust 

Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Message to your self 

You’re looking at the mirror now watching time go by 

Tell yourself I’d be better if this or maybe that 

If only that were this wistfully sigh 

Do the people who you watch unobserved have faults? 

Of course not you spit indignant 

What would they have to feel bad about like me? 

No wonder their confidence is so high being person x 

They embody everything everything ever 

So instead you emulate your imaginary perfect 

Try to correct some part that is fine …..no really  

Leave it as it is a message to the young 

You will look back later and wonder when you are broken 

Have allowed the world to break your component parts 

And maybe reshape you 

Only then will you get the message 

Be true to yourself always, be who you are 

Change nothing to conform to ideas of others 

But only change to better you from inside 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Guardian 

The tall man watching her move is unaware 

That she sees him as clear as day 

In the deep of night 

Sometimes almost close enough to touch but he has no 

Face of welcome to her eyes 

He doesn’t, cannot show that so 

Does he smile or frown upon her 

Drawing closer drives her further away  

Afraid he may hurt someone who she loves 

He acts as a guardian with no features 

The drawing closer could be anything you say 

As he tries to speak but is misunderstood 

That he patrols her world wanting only to help 

A warning from beyond the wall he cannot pass 

Unable to show and say his name 

He is merely the guardian, the dove for her peace 

Notice is not necessary for his work

And other forms can be taken for this beings duty 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Photo from ©Planting Images 2014

Jealousy 

So often the colour ascribed is peagreen  

Though I see a puce showing through 

No reason for it 

You say you don’t like it but change nothing 

Fear of what? 

Failing or just incase you succeed and are accused of changing 

Stay afraid to open your eyes 

Your mind and stagnate like those before 

Imagine you are different and see 

The mistakes they made and you who are afraid 

Repeat as it may mark you different 

Tell yourself you’re owed everything 

You must surely get it then right? 

And still you stand there angry at the world 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Filter the view 

You look at me in black and white like a newspaper page 

Flat and with no shades 

Every little detail beginning to blend or disappear 

To a basic short itinerary 

Peel back the shades, leave the scent trails 

Left by someone faceless before you 

What can you really see? 

My verdant hills of lushest green high and forbidding 

Yet changed little over time 

My purple carpet with so many hues 

A flooring of purest amethyst  

My yellows brilliant and dazzling to the eye 

Citrine to pop among other gems 

Look a little closer and more colours you’ll see 

Like the red of the bloodstone 

Flowers and berries are all a part of me 

Can you see me properly? 

Have you picked out the jewels here for each to enjoy 

Please take care, let them endure. 

Give your admiration, awe and respect 

But as you found it leave it 

And tell others to be sure. 

Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

That look 

He gave me that look the smile askew 

The face of knowing what life meant for sure 

Dark eyes warm pools full of everything and nothing 

As I misread their intentions 

For the fun I saw it was laughter 

For caring read any emotion but that 

You were capable only of doing what was expected 

Of giving out details many untrue 

Just for cheap laughs and a drink 

To join the crowd by proxy 

Alienated unless you were the entertainment 

It took a long while to see how desperate you were 

You craved attention never given 

Unless you gave the crowd of howling apes 

Your soul on a platter bowing low 

Begging their laughter and admission for moments 

The door always ready to slam shut 

Always the jester with an “anything m’lud” 

Laughing at others knowing you’re next 

Just for a while the insecurity fades 

As the donkeys bray loudly 

Each more afraid than the last 

That next laughter he’ll be under the spotlight squirming 

While they have you little jester 

They don’t turn on themselves like the animals they are 

One day a pack member will see through the haze 

Of fun and frivolous friends 

He’s the one with sense who has heart 

I hope you were one who did the same 

For your own sake 

Far away from their sideline it’s simple to see 

Step back and then run 

For your sanity before you become them 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

Sand timer 

It’s slipping slowly, faster, slower as my head spins 

No regrets at closing this chapter to turn the page 

Not a person forgotten in the whirling maelstrom 

As the vortex sucks me through after nodded assent given 

Am I supposed to feel every moment? 

Some are gentle goodbyes falling like dew on grass 

Others don’t seem to have registered yet 

The gentle I will miss but the ones who make braying farewells 

My heart says they forget you when you turn away 

So the ones who give gentle hugs and words of meaning  

Are the ones I will hold close knowing through changes 

I can meet and greet again 

Sand pouring through the timer faster than ticking clock 

To make new building blocks 

Pouring forth to meet me and hold me 

As the sea meets the shore 

It numbers nothing now but instead set me free 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016