That look 

He gave me that look the smile askew 

The face of knowing what life meant for sure 

Dark eyes warm pools full of everything and nothing 

As I misread their intentions 

For the fun I saw it was laughter 

For caring read any emotion but that 

You were capable only of doing what was expected 

Of giving out details many untrue 

Just for cheap laughs and a drink 

To join the crowd by proxy 

Alienated unless you were the entertainment 

It took a long while to see how desperate you were 

You craved attention never given 

Unless you gave the crowd of howling apes 

Your soul on a platter bowing low 

Begging their laughter and admission for moments 

The door always ready to slam shut 

Always the jester with an “anything m’lud” 

Laughing at others knowing you’re next 

Just for a while the insecurity fades 

As the donkeys bray loudly 

Each more afraid than the last 

That next laughter he’ll be under the spotlight squirming 

While they have you little jester 

They don’t turn on themselves like the animals they are 

One day a pack member will see through the haze 

Of fun and frivolous friends 

He’s the one with sense who has heart 

I hope you were one who did the same 

For your own sake 

Far away from their sideline it’s simple to see 

Step back and then run 

For your sanity before you become them 
Ailsa 

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2016

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