I had to just disappear a while
Was lost and forgot
Who I was, what I wanted
Started to say yes to everyone who
Suggested I be
Their mental version of me

I don’t know why
So I withdrew and hid away
Hanging around like a bat in a cave
Coming out in dusky times
Feeling tired, overwhelmed with all
the suggestions
Who they all saw, had me in mind to be

I almost blindly followed the leader
Then realised I couldn’t
Just accept
A version of myself, a parallel copy
The original fought back, sailing back
Too long a trip tossed on that boat
I have navigated back
To the shores I want
No, need

My trip was long, fearsome
The discovery of a new Land
Where the terrain is firm
But yields and changes
As I choose
Not for any gain other than the original
Of me is free and clear
Expectations may or may not be met
But now I am true to myself

That journey took me many places
I have returned, refreshed and my sapped strength
Is building slowly
I am once again whole in spirit
And for that I rejoice

Ailsa