Category: Writing

Flashing blades

Your eyes are dark flashing blades of anger
Pure glints break from them
These twin daggers whistle through the air
The whoosh of rapid movement quickening now
Need to let yourself purge your soul
Of the deepest hurt and pain
Silver light shoots forth from darkened depths
A quest for truth and justice
In a life not yet understood or queried
Until the day
You stopped and took stock of what you saw
Weighed,  measured the whole picture
Picking apart the elements
Conclusions now being drawn for future reference
The purpose not yet clear
It will be in time
When you have learned to accept what you cannot change
To channel your angry spirit
And stay back from the spin on every story
A Web you can extricate yourself from
Guilt that will stop working on you
For you will free yourself when you know it’s time
To start your own new story
I will be there do not fear,  my child
The time must be yours not mine to choose
I try to wait quietly by the sidelines
What you see must be your sight not my tint
For your truth is yours alone
I shall remain your support and crutch
Lean when you want to

Ailsa

Clicking

Your tongue clicks to show disapproval
Of a subject you can’t comprehend
Picking holes in the fabric already woven
Into a future you see no point
Or is it simply fear you rattle at me
Tick, tick, why would you do this?
Click, click, but it can’t work because I see nothing
I have lived in blinkered suppression always
But I LIKE IT that way
I don’t need to think of a scary beyond

Your little tirade of fear exhausted
The baseless facts faithless ground barren
I see you shake your head, eyes blank
Ready to say I told you so
It couldn’t work
A different world never could, change is….
An abomination
Stay here,  the same as always
To fade and die like you were, in safety.

Ailsa

Heronry hotel

Watching from the boat a floating stage
I am looking around
Feel the eyes upon me
Neck, skin prickling beneath a gaze unseen
I see you suddenly
Hidden in the treetop home you built
Your stillness beautiful
Carved from finest alabaster
I am not real you try to tell me urgently
You can look but will never find me
My children are not here
We are figments
Of your fevered mind
Blink and you’ll miss me as I did you
I was never here
Look over at the mountains, the sea
You can marvel at others antics
I have faded already from you
Like a movie screen gone black, blank.
I will hide somewhere else my head low
You were never meant to see me
Soon you shall forget you did.

Ailsa

Glinting steel

As you talk I glimpse the steel within
Your face contorted with bunched up rage
It’s unravelling slowly
Piece by broken piece
Like the balloon that loses its tethered post
I watch as you float slowly away
You are chipping away gently for freedom
Escaping the contorted prison
In which you have tried to make perfect so long
Drifting now
But never aimlessly
To a new place where you are not prohibited
From being your own person
Only the you that you consent to be
Is who you will be now
I say nothing, nod for your freedom.

Ailsa

As she walked

She breathed in deep her senses alive
As she wandered in heather and gorse
The brooding volcanic hills
Overhead
Commanding
Come near, nearer still till we touch you
Take over your core, nestle within
So your very existence is dependent
On breathing us in
Feeling our hearts beat in you
Passing the trust for this beautiful land
Rugged,  dark and beseeching,
Wild, windswept all of these things
But bringing you mostly
To realise one thing
You’re returning home to yourself

Ailsa

Caught out

However much I try to give a pointer
Just a roadsign to the inner workings
You look above
Beyond and away
If I speak about the North you turn your back
So you look South and cannot hear my voice
Ignore the message till I stop gazing at you in wonder
And the emotions turn to anger or resentment
Then ask but why?
Do I not give everything
You have a boredom level so low nothing can matter
Never is your heart touched by anything
Too securely chained, locked down for surety
That it can’t be caught, deliberately elusive
And as the players in the game walk away
Or perhaps run
Swiftly towards living
You stand still with your back to the voice
Until it disappears into the middle distance
Only a faint echo remains
To remind of what was there.

Ailsa

And the beauty

It speaks to me that beauty of the hills
Biting at the corners of my mind
eating into my soul and burying itself
So deeply down
It cannot leave
Flowing through my blood swirling
I don’t want it to leave me alone
Now I have found it’s deep bite
Such sweetness
Filling my heart
I am finally filled with peace and tranquility
Whole and complete with a deep need
To have this completeness always
Fill me from
The inside out
I have all I desire and want
Beautiful storm drenched skies above
Call to me to watch them properly
With the awe of a newborn child
Drink them in
Yet never learn
Everything that there can be done
Learn the beauty of the hills I love
Their changing moods far and wide
Changing their faces
Never the depths
Always speaking to me with soothing tones
Through the wind and rain their calm undertones prevail
And I am once more
Just as before
A complete being able to find solace

Ailsa

Nothing changes

You want to show the world how different you are
How you dealt with pain and covered scars
But deep down inside where you have to be true
Your the same old honest to goodness you
Well less honest if we’re speaking plain
More of the same old rubbish once again
Of how can I manoeuvre the situation now
Just a counter move, cross fire for power
To gain the upper hand and say look what I’ve done
All of it delivered an elaborate con
Poor little me and hang dog expression
You lost in the race so full of aggression
Too late now the crowd has seen through
And now your own bullets are firing at you!

Ailsa

With me

I take you with me through the days
It’s important I feel your presence
Not there in a physical body or being
But around me,  tucked away inside
Or on display my badge of honour
My pride and joy
My staunch supporter
I can feel you like you stand at my shoulder
And speak through the lips of another
Who uses your words
To speak directly to me
Give me comfort in the darker days
Joy on the lighter manageable ones
I have not lost you in totality I feel
My intuition and instinct speak to my soul
Telling me you are there surrounding me
With your shield of love
Covering me with your sword of sweet hope
I take you home with me now
Singing with sweet dreams in my heart
You shall never be lost to me
I cannot see you at all
That sense is not necessary now
My heart feels you with me
As you always said you’d be.

Ailsa

Storms – for a friend

My head it is surging with the storms I contain
I cry when you sleep to hide from my pain
You awake and I smile, or take flight
Used to being strong I can’t show my plight
Wracked with guilt for the wrongs I perceive
And looking around me,  then do I grieve
You are the anchor that helps me to shore
The one who my being it’s centre is core
In trying to trace my backward steps again
I find it never erases the tumult and pain
But I do keep trying I know where I fail
And one day I might just allow myself to prevail 

Ailsa