Wondering

He said you’re beautiful, special

Repeating it daily and I almost

Believed I could be.

Then it changed and other ghosts came to play

They joined the party, I was invisible,

Until he spotlighted me saying sweet words

That blocked out the shrivelled heart.

From love to you’re okay in a blink,

And I’m left wondering….

You told me she was perfect and that I’d not be her.

I didn’t want to be

She was beautiful leaving me standing

Unnoticed and only worth a pitiful glance

If you made time.

Determined to make me into something else

Sometimes anger dealt as if it were a game

The pain cutting deep hidden from sight

And I’m left wondering….,

Finally the wondering was done

Daylight playing in the dark crevices

Of a beaten soul with holes like Swiss cheese

But clarity in the parts left behind

She may indeed have been perfect

But refused to play your dark game

As would I had I seen through sooner

So I crawled out because I couldn’t stand

Bruised inside and out by you

Cut and almost broken by the anger wreaked

And I’m no longer wondering….

I see straight through

Straight through your game.

Ailsa

©AilsaCawleyPoetry2017

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