Uncle (Not)

You demanded to be called Uncle
never were you that
ruling with nastiness in your castle of fear
NO LIGHTS!! It isn’t dark
calling people stupid, bitch or worse as the mood took you
Mostly bad, laughing at your own nastiness
So clever weren’t you, Uncle not
you may ask why
but I will never in a lifetime
call you uncle without a snort of derision
Clicking your fingers, expecting service
thinking that a young girl would like your charms
fall for you
Ugly inside, warted, fat and dark
Surely davros was modelled on you, I thought
did all I could to give your scared lady
courage
Told she was funny, beautiful, clever, wise
Everything you said she wasn’t
To me she was, it was no lie, no untruth
you demand I call you uncle, sit on your lap
could feel the bile rise in my throat
No, I’ll not do either, ever!
Turning purple you say what?
I won’t, don’t like you and leave her alone
Stabbing a finger towards my aunt
she’s sweet and kind, doesn’t need you
always telling her bad stuff, time to stop!
Feelings I couldn’t keep bottled anymore, the genie out
Look at my aunt, hope she’s not upset
A quiet smile of victory on her face
leaving the room so it’s not recognised,
stored up for later
Tell my mother I deserve a beating for that
Warned touch her once, just once
Looking at me menace in his eyes
Calling your Dad, see what he says
Go on, uncle not,  I know what he’ll do
you should be afraid, he thinks you’re a pig
Inside you’re a small man who thinks he’s big

Ailsa

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Dream lands maybe

Unexpectedly, on my travels I find a place

A bank leading to a calm flowing river

soothing tree lined place of peace

feeling of contentment within me looms

my eyes though, seem to look through gauze

picture clear, yet unclear

familiar voice calls to greet me

I turn and speak, but this person here isn’t the exact person of now

rather a bygone era, almost a Polaroid, a negative

of a man I love, happier, younger.

You call me to sit, warn me I’m not to stay

we talk as the river flows idly by

I too am relaxed, but all too aware

that soon I have to depart for another world, time.

You tell me not to linger, don’t I know yet?

that all I need to do when I want you next ,is come here again,

you are here in your place, you will wait for me, but now is not a time to stay

I feel you hold me tenderly, then walk back, seemingly only two steps to the other world

Turning to wave you have disappeared and I

have returned and am in my bed once more.

Ailsa Cawley 2015

Dark being

As you wander in your self created world
Trying to break lives, dreams and hopes
Falseness and darkness pour from your poisoned soul
while attempting to profess goodness and light
You are a friend, a brother of sorts
Coming slowly undone, edges frayed
Holes in your story
There is no light to look at you
you are seen as an obscurance to the sun
Not just a short eclipse this
It brings in the cold, howling gales, ice into hearts
and eventually blood.
Be warned now, simpering little man!
I smell your nastiness like a spoiled fish
I see the eyes flick and you touch people,
Like a snake with prey in sight
You think you will affect anyone I love?
Take extra care I may look especially quiet
like the volcano, biding my time,
explosion deadly
My aim more sure though only one casualty
And you will wish you’d never breathed
Do not even consider hurting my loved ones
as your regret will outmatch any gain
Slip away quietly into your dark place
for not all darkness is as harmful as you
Much of it is just a place of welcome,
of calmness and peace
You even give darkness a bad press.

Ailsa Cawley 2015

Ailsa

Dancer

image

Dancing wildly with abandon, joyfully
spinning out her skirts, feet flying
Eyes are closed
she has entered another realm, universe
The place where she is free of everything
in this world she can only dance
here she can never feel obscure or cold
her heart is warm, beating fast
euphoria, not blood flowing through veins
not needing to have a partner to hold
The air encircles her with it’s caress
her hair whips and whirls around
flying like ribbons in the breeze
She falls to the floor at the music’s end
her heart pumping wildly with new life.

Artwork by kind permission of Jean Alice Wilcox

image

Ailsa

Listen to the trees

ailsacawley

It sounds crazy I know
but listen, No really listen to the trees
As they accept the storms, all weathers.
Knowing that the storms pass
Aware they must sway with the breeze
not fight it and stand against it,
but gently bend and flow
Sometimes they are whipped about looking almost beyond survival,
yet still they stay and endure
Only deciding to fight back when it’s necessary
When they are beyond anything other.
After all the peace and bending is done they whip back,
in this process, sometimes snapping a little
Even fatally
Mostly they endure, till the wind finds a new source for it’s ire
Leaving them in peace, solid and proud again

Ailsa Cawley 2015

Ailsa

View original post

Listen to the trees

It sounds crazy I know
but listen, No really listen to the trees
As they accept the storms, all weathers.
Knowing that the storms pass
Aware they must sway with the breeze
not fight it and stand against it,
but gently bend and flow
Sometimes they are whipped about looking almost beyond survival,
yet still they stay and endure
Only deciding to fight back when it’s necessary
When they are beyond anything other.
After all the peace and bending is done they whip back,
in this process, sometimes snapping a little
Even fatally
Mostly they endure, till the wind finds a new source for it’s ire
Leaving them in peace, solid and proud again

Ailsa Cawley 2015

Ailsa